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General Parenting
Anyone have tips for difficult child's poor planning?
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<blockquote data-quote="tonime" data-source="post: 187423" data-attributes="member: 144"><p>Oh gee--organization! Well, I was never a difficult child and I had issues with this in college! I was an A student--but it happened during my "junior practicum" where I had so much work I could not possibly get it done ahead of time as usual. Long story short--I made it through---(actually dropped out a semester)---BUT I WISH I had a mom like you there to help me.</p><p></p><p>Anyway-I am sure you are doing all the calendar things etc. -- guiding him---- my only suggestion is this-- are you praising him step by step? I notice this with my difficult child (and kids in general) sometimes we don't say a word when they are doing something RIGHT-- only when we want to correct them or "guide" them do we speak.</p><p></p><p>I read a terrific book called "Transforming the Diffficult Child" and in it the author speaks of giving SPECIFIC praise. For example, " Wow, I see that you picked up the clothes off the floor in your room, it looks a lot neater." This sometimes motivates them to the next step. The trick is to praise NO MATTER how small you think the accomplishment is. You have to start where they are at and SLOWLY lift expectations.</p><p>So, if your difficult child got one thing done on the list (or more than he usually would) comment on that and not the other 9 things he didn't do. </p><p>It sounds easy--it isn't actually easy--but it works. We are so wired to comment the other way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tonime, post: 187423, member: 144"] Oh gee--organization! Well, I was never a difficult child and I had issues with this in college! I was an A student--but it happened during my "junior practicum" where I had so much work I could not possibly get it done ahead of time as usual. Long story short--I made it through---(actually dropped out a semester)---BUT I WISH I had a mom like you there to help me. Anyway-I am sure you are doing all the calendar things etc. -- guiding him---- my only suggestion is this-- are you praising him step by step? I notice this with my difficult child (and kids in general) sometimes we don't say a word when they are doing something RIGHT-- only when we want to correct them or "guide" them do we speak. I read a terrific book called "Transforming the Diffficult Child" and in it the author speaks of giving SPECIFIC praise. For example, " Wow, I see that you picked up the clothes off the floor in your room, it looks a lot neater." This sometimes motivates them to the next step. The trick is to praise NO MATTER how small you think the accomplishment is. You have to start where they are at and SLOWLY lift expectations. So, if your difficult child got one thing done on the list (or more than he usually would) comment on that and not the other 9 things he didn't do. It sounds easy--it isn't actually easy--but it works. We are so wired to comment the other way. [/QUOTE]
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Anyone have tips for difficult child's poor planning?
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