Are my doors still open???

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by mog, Feb 2, 2012.

  1. mog

    mog Member

    Over the years we have always told everyone that if you are coming to see us that are door are always open and we welcome freinds and family alike to come and visit. Now that my my children are grown, I am beginning to wonder if I should keep this open door policy. I am mad today.:grrr: I really hadn't wandered into the back end of the house where the "kids" bedrooms are since before the holidays when I was cleaning and preparing for the visits. I have told them in the past to make sure they clean up afterthem selves and prepare the rooms for the next guests when they are getting ready to leave so that i just need to fix a few things and clean the bathrooms. I am having guests tommorrow and went backt here tonight and dam it not one single room is clean-dirty clothes in the floor and unmade beds and what not. I am going to have to work my but off tommorrow after work to get things ready fjor guests. As it is I feel stupid about them coming and we still have the windows boarded up and broken cabinet doors and such from when difficult child went off now on top of that it is a mess!!!!!!
    I am embarassed to say that my house is a mess but I thought that it was semi clean so I wouldn't have that much to do. Next time my kids want to spend the night -I should charge them a dam "cleaning up after your lazy ass fee" or make them put down a deposit and they only get it back IF the room is clean when they leave. I would have never done that to my mom--I always made sure the room was clean and ready for the next guests--the dishes were clean and put away - the kitchen floor swept - the living room picked up and the bathroom was picked up and laundry in the hamper or IF I had time to do it before I left.
    It is not that I am lazy but I got hurt years ago and have nerve damage so in order for me to do it I have to have either --done it a little at a time , over a period of time or jump in ,get it done, have the next day off to recover so that I can take enough pain medication to handle all the pain.
    UGH!!! Sorry guys just needed to *****:dissapointed:
     
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I would take pics before you do much, then tell them they each owe you fifty bucks for the cleaning lady who you had to hire and to pay for the day off work because you were in so much pain from working with her.

    This is nuts. We may be slobs at home, but when we visit we always are neat. PERIOD. It is just respectful. My inlaws usually spend a month or so in Ireland and I often go and get away for a day or two, but the house is SPOTLESS when I leave. When we stay for the holidays I wash our sheets before we leave because it is hard for stepMIL to do it.

    And yes, I would tell the kids that they can't spend the night anymore. In the words of my very loving grandma, "You are welcome anytime, but when Johnny Carson is over you have to go home."

    You might consider hiring a service or maid to help you. Pain hoovers.
     
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I dunno what is wrong with the younger generation.

    Holidays I always was taught to help the host clean up, even if time was short (as in having to visit others).

    A guest always cleans up after themselves and helps the host clean up before they leave.

    My gosh, we'd stay with mother in law for months and never once did she have to pick up or clean up after us or the kids.......and I helped her with the big house cleaning, tried to help her cook (that was a no go) ect ect.

    Mine aren't too bad about it, at least.
     
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I remember being the one who did all the cleaning to be ready for guests. And cleaning afterwards...
    And no, most guests don't have a clue. Family, or NOT family.

    WE were taught... to strip the beds, remake if clean sheets were available, collect towels, take spots off mirrors, scrub tub after use, etc., and help with any kitchen tasks that the hostess wanted help with. THAT is the minimum.

    After I left home, Mom had to put signs up in the "guest" rooms... asking that guests do X, Y, and Z (including remaking the beds...) because she had "lost her maid" (i.e. me)... and amazingly, people actually responded.
     
  5. Any of their personal items they've left as trash (like dirty clothes on the floor) in your home I'd have no problem treating it the same way they have... as trash... collect it in a bag and toss it to the curb.

    If something appears to have been accidentally left behind that's a different story.

    I like the idea of posting a "before checking out" checklist so your expectations are clearly present in a non nagging way.
     
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    If I stayed overnight at my parents', and left any room like this... The fallout would be worse than a full-on Onyxx rage.

    Jett has friends over, and they REFUSE to even HELP him clean up after THEY have made a mess. His BFF is BAD about this. I have no qualms reminding him - in front of his mother of father - and they back me up. You'd think by now...

    Onyxx and Jett both put stuff away at my parents' - but not the inlaws'. And at Home - ?!!!! HAHAHAHA!

    'S OK, this weekend Onyxx gets to DEEP clean her room, since I cleaned it and right now it's a DISASTER. Jett's room is cleaner. I'm DONE with it.

    WAIT! I can use her social security to pay for a MAID! (not that I will, but what a great idea.)
     
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    If I stayed overnight at my parents', and left any room like this... The fallout would be worse than a full-on Onyxx rage.

    Jett has friends over, and they REFUSE to even HELP him clean up after THEY have made a mess. His BFF is BAD about this. I have no qualms reminding him - in front of his mother of father - and they back me up. You'd think by now...

    Onyxx and Jett both put stuff away at my parents' - but not the inlaws'. And at Home - ?!!!! HAHAHAHA!

    'S OK, this weekend Onyxx gets to DEEP clean her room, since I cleaned it and right now it's a DISASTER. Jett's room is cleaner. I'm DONE with it.

    WAIT! I can use her social security to pay for a MAID! (not that I will, but what a great idea.)
     
  8. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Pick up all their stuff put it into garbage bags and toss it. Obviously the stuff they left lying around doesn't mean much to them so why bother yourself with it. That will be natural consequences and also cut down on your work.
     
  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sadly, I can relate. When my "first" group of children were young they "got it". GFGmom never was worth a darn...but her siblings made her participate. This generation I've just lost the concept. I do have to literally stand over this younger generation to even get things "presentable". Not clean but just presentable. I assume I skipped a parenting beat somehow but they are a lazy lot. DDD
     
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DDD...you are right. There would have been hell to pay if my dad had taken me anywhere and I had behaved that way. I didnt raise my boys that way. I was always careful when I took my boys places...not that we actually went very many places but when we did, they acted like angels. Tony and I never let them more than a few steps away from us. Now, Cory will pretty much clean up after himself but Jamie leaves a trail when his family leaves.
     
  11. Tiredof33

    Tiredof33 Active Member

    With your health problems you should not have to clean up after anyone, much less adults.

    There is something about this 'me' generation that thinks it's everyone elses job, not theirs! We had to help out at home and there was no way we would act out in public. This group is raising really rude kids! We went to a restaurant and my niece let her 3yo kiddie play on the floor to keep her busy so she wouldn't act out. The servers had to keep walking around her! I told my niece she was in the way and she said at least she is not screaming.

    Even at the public schools everyone just drops their backpacks on the floor by their seats. You would be amazed at the trash they leave on the floor. They don't use their lockers, my sister said her grands said they don't have time to go to the locker between classes. I told her I have been at the school and if they stopped socializing between classes they would have plenty of time.

    And the way they have no respect for teachers is amazing!
     
  12. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Hey Mog, After all your hard work :vacuumsm: I hope you enjoyed your company!!!! :thumbsup:
     
  13. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    mog -

    ROFLM'lazy"AO - WHAT WAS THAT FEE AGAIN????


    STILL LAUGHING.....thanks for the chuckle......hope it all went well.

    And as far as the boards on the 'everything'? I just told people "OH we had a hurricane come through a while back and haven't settled with the insurance yet. lol.......
     
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