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General Parenting
Are you in therapy due to difficult child stress?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 135215" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I have been in therapy. Not for a few years though. And although it was difficult child-related, it was more the problems I was having with the school, and communicating with them plus coping with difficult child 3's worsening behaviour which at that time and even more now, I ascribe to out of control bullying being handled badly by the school. It was towards the end of the school year that I sought counselling, and always at the end of the school year things were getting worse with difficult child 3, detentions flying thick and fast. A number of times at least, I'm fairly sure he was on detention for behaviour triggered by bullying, and the bullies were not caught or punished - this taught the bullies that difficult child 3 was a safe target, and so it has continued.</p><p></p><p>You need to look after yourself. Also, you need to consider - am I trying to discipline too much at one time? You may have your standards set too high. Don't compare raising a child with training your pets - there's a huge difference. Of course your pets are going to be better trained - in dog years, your dogs are likely to be older than your daughter, for a start. How well-behaved is a six month old puppy for you? Add in difficult child-ness and you can see - our kids take longer to get to easy child status.</p><p></p><p>Check out "The Explosive Child" for some more effective methods of 'obedience training". And with difficult children, sometimes the obedience training is needed even more for the parents because you really do have to turn your thinking around, if you want to see improvement in their behaviour.</p><p></p><p>Good luck. I AM sympathetic, we were there x 3 for a while. And it was the book that showed me why the methods my mother taught me and which seemed so effective for her kids and grandkids, were actually very wrong for MY kids. And then I made the wonderful discovery - Explosive Child" methods work on PCs too.</p><p></p><p>Consider it as an effective form of Zen parenting.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 135215, member: 1991"] I have been in therapy. Not for a few years though. And although it was difficult child-related, it was more the problems I was having with the school, and communicating with them plus coping with difficult child 3's worsening behaviour which at that time and even more now, I ascribe to out of control bullying being handled badly by the school. It was towards the end of the school year that I sought counselling, and always at the end of the school year things were getting worse with difficult child 3, detentions flying thick and fast. A number of times at least, I'm fairly sure he was on detention for behaviour triggered by bullying, and the bullies were not caught or punished - this taught the bullies that difficult child 3 was a safe target, and so it has continued. You need to look after yourself. Also, you need to consider - am I trying to discipline too much at one time? You may have your standards set too high. Don't compare raising a child with training your pets - there's a huge difference. Of course your pets are going to be better trained - in dog years, your dogs are likely to be older than your daughter, for a start. How well-behaved is a six month old puppy for you? Add in difficult child-ness and you can see - our kids take longer to get to easy child status. Check out "The Explosive Child" for some more effective methods of 'obedience training". And with difficult children, sometimes the obedience training is needed even more for the parents because you really do have to turn your thinking around, if you want to see improvement in their behaviour. Good luck. I AM sympathetic, we were there x 3 for a while. And it was the book that showed me why the methods my mother taught me and which seemed so effective for her kids and grandkids, were actually very wrong for MY kids. And then I made the wonderful discovery - Explosive Child" methods work on PCs too. Consider it as an effective form of Zen parenting. Marg [/QUOTE]
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