Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
argument with-my mom
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 259455" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Jena,</p><p>I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this. I agree with Lisa that perhaps it's best for you to tell her. Even if it doesn't change the way she behaves, it will clear the air and give you the opportunity to take some of your power back.</p><p></p><p>A few things that used to work for me back in the day (before I gave myself a "parent-ectomy") were:</p><p></p><p>"Please do not ever raise that subject with me again."</p><p></p><p>"You may disagree with me, but it's my responsibility to do what's best for me. If your only input is going to be to undermine me, then please don't provide any further input"</p><p></p><p>"I refuse to discuss that with you."</p><p></p><p>"I know we disagree. Yelling or guilt is not going to change my position, so please stop."</p><p></p><p>All of these were said very very calmly, often with a slight smile. (I had to practice these phrases in the mirror for ages before I was able to say them calmly and with a slight smile)</p><p></p><p>It didn't shut my difficult child-mother up, but it sure did allow me to detach from her anger-dance. Learning that I didn't have to be upset just because she was, was one of the best and most significant life lessons I've ever learned.</p><p></p><p>Sending many gentle hugs.</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 259455, member: 3907"] Jena, I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this. I agree with Lisa that perhaps it's best for you to tell her. Even if it doesn't change the way she behaves, it will clear the air and give you the opportunity to take some of your power back. A few things that used to work for me back in the day (before I gave myself a "parent-ectomy") were: "Please do not ever raise that subject with me again." "You may disagree with me, but it's my responsibility to do what's best for me. If your only input is going to be to undermine me, then please don't provide any further input" "I refuse to discuss that with you." "I know we disagree. Yelling or guilt is not going to change my position, so please stop." All of these were said very very calmly, often with a slight smile. (I had to practice these phrases in the mirror for ages before I was able to say them calmly and with a slight smile) It didn't shut my difficult child-mother up, but it sure did allow me to detach from her anger-dance. Learning that I didn't have to be upset just because she was, was one of the best and most significant life lessons I've ever learned. Sending many gentle hugs. Trinity [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
argument with-my mom
Top