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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 625914" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Where do you live that you have to pay for your kids lawyer when they're committing crimes? I've never heard of such a thing! He has the <em>right</em> to have a lawyer, not the guarantee to have a lawyer. Never <em>ever</em> pay for his lawyer again! Perhaps <em>he</em> isn't eligible for a legal aid lawyer because of <em>your</em> income, that just means that <em>he</em> has to pay for a lawyer if he wants one. FWIW, he's over 16 years old. They can try him as an adult if you ask them to, and you <em>should</em>. With his record they won't pussyfoot around - especially when he acts out.</p><p></p><p>You need to have him declared a minor out of control and get him out of your house now. I don't know why you'd wait until he's 18 years old. Your husband needs to keep his hands to himself before he ends up in jail for child abuse and you lose everything you have. You and your husband need to stand together on this. Have a phone at the ready at all times and call the police when any violence of any kind is started by your son. If they show up and your son has marks on him you can be sure you and/or your husband will go to jail and it won't be juvie. Where would your 14 y/o easy child be then?</p><p></p><p>By "any violence" I mean punching walls, in-your-face screaming (intimidation and threats of violence by an individual who has previously been violent) throwing things at you or just throwing things, breaking things, brandishing a weapon, making threats of violence. The list goes on and on. If you have to ask yourself "is this violence" it is. Get yourself to the bathroom or the bedroom or into the car and call 911. Don't give him a head's up that you're calling 911 so that he can hop the fence. Does he have <em>any clue</em> what could happen to him if he actually were to try running from the police while they're there?</p><p></p><p>He tells you that he can't be the only one that's punished? Oh heck to the yes, he <em>can</em>! If he thinks he's going to punish <em>you</em> for his transgressions he should have another think coming right quick. If you don't want to involve the police you need to suck it up and put him into a treatment center again. You can have transport come to the house and get him. He can go quietly or not. They know how to take care of not going quietly and they <em>will. </em>You don't have to worry about lethal force with paid transport and he <em>really should</em> worry about that with the police. You don't owe him any explanation whatsoever, and you don't have to warn him. Put him in the treatment center and tell them you don't care if he stays there but he's not coming home because you' and the rest of the family are frightened of him - PERIOD. </p><p></p><p>FWIW, you can count on him making a child abuse complaint against your husband. You need to get him out before he escalates it to something none of you can take back.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 625914, member: 99"] Where do you live that you have to pay for your kids lawyer when they're committing crimes? I've never heard of such a thing! He has the [I]right[/I] to have a lawyer, not the guarantee to have a lawyer. Never [I]ever[/I] pay for his lawyer again! Perhaps [I]he[/I] isn't eligible for a legal aid lawyer because of [I]your[/I] income, that just means that [I]he[/I] has to pay for a lawyer if he wants one. FWIW, he's over 16 years old. They can try him as an adult if you ask them to, and you [I]should[/I]. With his record they won't pussyfoot around - especially when he acts out. You need to have him declared a minor out of control and get him out of your house now. I don't know why you'd wait until he's 18 years old. Your husband needs to keep his hands to himself before he ends up in jail for child abuse and you lose everything you have. You and your husband need to stand together on this. Have a phone at the ready at all times and call the police when any violence of any kind is started by your son. If they show up and your son has marks on him you can be sure you and/or your husband will go to jail and it won't be juvie. Where would your 14 y/o easy child be then? By "any violence" I mean punching walls, in-your-face screaming (intimidation and threats of violence by an individual who has previously been violent) throwing things at you or just throwing things, breaking things, brandishing a weapon, making threats of violence. The list goes on and on. If you have to ask yourself "is this violence" it is. Get yourself to the bathroom or the bedroom or into the car and call 911. Don't give him a head's up that you're calling 911 so that he can hop the fence. Does he have [I]any clue[/I] what could happen to him if he actually were to try running from the police while they're there? He tells you that he can't be the only one that's punished? Oh heck to the yes, he [I]can[/I]! If he thinks he's going to punish [I]you[/I] for his transgressions he should have another think coming right quick. If you don't want to involve the police you need to suck it up and put him into a treatment center again. You can have transport come to the house and get him. He can go quietly or not. They know how to take care of not going quietly and they [I]will. [/I]You don't have to worry about lethal force with paid transport and he [I]really should[/I] worry about that with the police. You don't owe him any explanation whatsoever, and you don't have to warn him. Put him in the treatment center and tell them you don't care if he stays there but he's not coming home because you' and the rest of the family are frightened of him - PERIOD. FWIW, you can count on him making a child abuse complaint against your husband. You need to get him out before he escalates it to something none of you can take back. [/QUOTE]
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