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as someone said about leading a horse to water....
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 42588" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>Janet, is this not the EXACT same thing he did to you before? And is this not the EXACT same thing that you had all the big discussions about before when he promised that he wouldn't let it happen again? I don't blame you for being upset. And you're right - it's the sneakiness, doing it behind your back ... AGAIN! These girls may <em>occasionally</em> need some time alone with their dad, but they are NOT children, they're two <em>adults</em> who are manipulating and guilt-tripping their father into making him choose to purposely exclude you, and he's <em>allowing</em> them do it - AGAIN! They don't have to throw rose petals in your path but they should realize that their father has a right to his own life and that if he is part of a couple, they should accept you and be gracious to you, for their fathers sake. Instead, they are <em>controlling</em> him and he is <em>allowing</em> them to do it - AGAIN!</p><p></p><p>The ADULT way for them to have handled this, if they were planning a trip that you might not enjoy (like hiking or mountain climbing or Grizzly bear wrestling) would have been to tell you what the plans were and then let YOU decide if you wanted to go with them or not - a trip to the mountains can be lovely, even if you choose not to participate in the bear wrestling and the rattlesnake roundups! Unfortunately, these "girls" are not behaving on an adult level. Their whole aim here is to <em>exclude</em> you and come between you and their father - and they've succeeded - again!</p><p></p><p>He did it before, said he wouldn't do it to you again, and now he has. I think it's time for you to realize that, no matter what he promises, he will ALWAYS put his daughters before you. He will ALWAYS allow them to control and manipulate him, and you will ALWAYS be in second place with him and a non-person to his "children". You will have to accept it that this is <em>not</em> going to change and you will have to decide if you can live with that or not. Personally, I could NOT, but it is your decision to make. I just hate to see you getting hurt over and over again and thinking that maybe this time it will be different. You deserve a lot better than this. Sending lots of (((hugs))).</p><p></p><p> :flower:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 42588, member: 1883"] Janet, is this not the EXACT same thing he did to you before? And is this not the EXACT same thing that you had all the big discussions about before when he promised that he wouldn't let it happen again? I don't blame you for being upset. And you're right - it's the sneakiness, doing it behind your back ... AGAIN! These girls may [i]occasionally[/i] need some time alone with their dad, but they are NOT children, they're two [i]adults[/i] who are manipulating and guilt-tripping their father into making him choose to purposely exclude you, and he's [i]allowing[/i] them do it - AGAIN! They don't have to throw rose petals in your path but they should realize that their father has a right to his own life and that if he is part of a couple, they should accept you and be gracious to you, for their fathers sake. Instead, they are [i]controlling[/i] him and he is [i]allowing[/i] them to do it - AGAIN! The ADULT way for them to have handled this, if they were planning a trip that you might not enjoy (like hiking or mountain climbing or Grizzly bear wrestling) would have been to tell you what the plans were and then let YOU decide if you wanted to go with them or not - a trip to the mountains can be lovely, even if you choose not to participate in the bear wrestling and the rattlesnake roundups! Unfortunately, these "girls" are not behaving on an adult level. Their whole aim here is to [i]exclude[/i] you and come between you and their father - and they've succeeded - again! He did it before, said he wouldn't do it to you again, and now he has. I think it's time for you to realize that, no matter what he promises, he will ALWAYS put his daughters before you. He will ALWAYS allow them to control and manipulate him, and you will ALWAYS be in second place with him and a non-person to his "children". You will have to accept it that this is [i]not[/i] going to change and you will have to decide if you can live with that or not. Personally, I could NOT, but it is your decision to make. I just hate to see you getting hurt over and over again and thinking that maybe this time it will be different. You deserve a lot better than this. Sending lots of (((hugs))). [img]:flower:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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