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At Home Care vs Hospital....
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 636050" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Hi Confused,</p><p>when you said you changed their school to make them happy, but they didn't like it when they had to go, plus, their love of electronics, a light went off for me. Have you had them tested on the autism spectrum? Asperger's?</p><p>Kids like that do not like change or transition.</p><p>Also, they do love you in their own way. As you pointed out, there isn't an outward display of empathy, which is typical on the autism spectrum. I used to have long talks with-my son about whether he loved me, and how his behavior affected me. For a long time, he didn't "get it." I think he does now, especially since he has a girlfriend.</p><p>When one of our dogs died about 10 yrs ago, he looked at the dog's body for a minute, then jumped up and down and said, "Can I got out to play now?"</p><p>Groooan.</p><p>You are on the right track by grounding your son for saying he wants to kill you. I'd go one step further: talk to him in a calm moment and tell him that he can say he is really, really mad at you. Even yelling it is permissible. He has to practice. So the next time he says he wants to kill you, stop him and say, "Not allowed. Say you are very mad at me. Or your Xbox gets taken away."</p><p>It sounds utterly ridiculous to "regular" parents but it works.</p><p>Well, with a lot of repetition.</p><p>Since they're already on medications, you've got a doctor. Is it a pediatrician or a psychiatrist? I'd make weekly talk therapy appointments. If they don't go, they lose their electronics for a day.</p><p>You'll have to put up with-yelling and screaming the first time they jump ship but when they learn you mean it, they'll go the next time. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>It's a long journey.</p><p>I feel for you, especially having two of them.</p><p>I hope you can take something, as well. Maybe an antianxiety medication or antidepressant just to take the edge off. I'm not trying to push drugs, but I know how awful it is to live every day like that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 636050, member: 3419"] Hi Confused, when you said you changed their school to make them happy, but they didn't like it when they had to go, plus, their love of electronics, a light went off for me. Have you had them tested on the autism spectrum? Asperger's? Kids like that do not like change or transition. Also, they do love you in their own way. As you pointed out, there isn't an outward display of empathy, which is typical on the autism spectrum. I used to have long talks with-my son about whether he loved me, and how his behavior affected me. For a long time, he didn't "get it." I think he does now, especially since he has a girlfriend. When one of our dogs died about 10 yrs ago, he looked at the dog's body for a minute, then jumped up and down and said, "Can I got out to play now?" Groooan. You are on the right track by grounding your son for saying he wants to kill you. I'd go one step further: talk to him in a calm moment and tell him that he can say he is really, really mad at you. Even yelling it is permissible. He has to practice. So the next time he says he wants to kill you, stop him and say, "Not allowed. Say you are very mad at me. Or your Xbox gets taken away." It sounds utterly ridiculous to "regular" parents but it works. Well, with a lot of repetition. Since they're already on medications, you've got a doctor. Is it a pediatrician or a psychiatrist? I'd make weekly talk therapy appointments. If they don't go, they lose their electronics for a day. You'll have to put up with-yelling and screaming the first time they jump ship but when they learn you mean it, they'll go the next time. :) It's a long journey. I feel for you, especially having two of them. I hope you can take something, as well. Maybe an antianxiety medication or antidepressant just to take the edge off. I'm not trying to push drugs, but I know how awful it is to live every day like that. [/QUOTE]
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