Let's see....early development. She's had a rough go already even up to this point. I was in labor for over 24 hours with her, many times her heart rate dropping to 30, and finally had an emergency c-section. About 3 days after birth she started screaming...all day all night...never stopped. She was diagnosed with severe silent reflux (not so silent with the screaming) and she also had colic. At 3 months old she stopped eating. She ended up with an NG feeding tube. They hoped that the tube would stimulate appetite and she would start eating. She didn't. She ended up with a peg tube in her belly for about a year. It was an accident that she ended up with no tube, but has been growing still.
She wasn't very cuddly as an infant, but she was always in pain and/or hungry, so that is a big reason. She always made eye contact. she never had a problem with noises...never did anything abnormal such as putting toys in order or staring at things. Everything was pretty much on track both verbally and with her motor skills.
She does have textural issues with food, and has had them since I can remember her starting solid foods. She had a really bad gag reflex...fed her applesauce at a restaurant when she was a year and a half and she threw up all over the table. Now she has grown into also gagging if food looks "ucky" in her mind, but only if I am trying to convince her to eat things, so I don't try to convince her to eat anything she doesn't want to. She still doesn't have what I consider an abnormal sensitivity to noise, she runs from the noise of a siren if she is outside when she hears it. She IS very very loud herself, but has no hearing problems. Always loud. She has been known to throw up (only happened once) when smelling something she didn't like (her baby sister's dirty diaper). Every time she has a cold she throws up from coughing too much.
Lately she has taken to going outside when she has to poop, taking her diaper off, and pooping in the back yard with the dogs. I chalk it up to the dogs being out there, but maybe that is a sign of something. I cannot get her potty trained, although today she did poop on the toilet, the first time. The second time was outside with diaper off. So much fun when she comes back to the back door and has a butt full of poop.
Also lately with some clothes, she doesn't like the tags and wants them cut out.
As far as not doing anything with toys such as stacking them or lining them up...no. She doesn't play with toys much at all, or watch tv much at all, or do anything much at all but run around, yelling and talking very loudly, and getting into anything and everything she knows she's not supposed to....even when she's outside.
She interacts well with other children, although her temper sometimes gets the better of her. She has not hit purposefully or done anything extremely out of character for a 3 year old towards other children.
she doesn't sleep well. her mind doesn't shut off enough for her to sleep well. She will "wake up" and in a half awake state talk about something that happened during the day, or something exciting I have told her is going to happen the next day. Occasionally she does have some bad dreams. some nights she wakes up around 1 AM and won't go back to sleep until 3 or 4 AM. Regardless of how early or late she goes to bed, or how much she was up in the middle of the night, she gets up between 7 or 8. Much better than her preferred time in infancy of 4 or 5 AM.
If she doesn't get her way, or is told no, or something is taken away from her, even if she knows she shouldn't have it, she screams in a really high pitched tone. If she is put in time out she screams in a really high pitched tone. If she knows you are coming to get something away from her she will throw it, at anything and everything. And when she is really really angry, she will just get really ****** and start kicking or hitting the dogs, throwing things, screaming. All out temper tantrum. I know some of that is normal, but I did exactly what everyone told me when she was younger....ignore the temper tantrum since she was looking for attention. Did that for over a year, and she learned nothing from it.
Also, just remembered, she sometimes doesn't seem to feel pain as much as she should and doesn't understand the concept of causing pain to others (dogs and cats mostly). When she was an infant she wouldn't let us know she had a dirty diaper, and ended up with numerous yeast infections, open bleeding sores...and didn't cry about it.
Her diet and nutrition is a sore spot. the fact that she has no feeding tube anymore is merely an accident. She was getting fitted for a new tube, they put a temporary one in, and the balloon was defective and burst. It fell out and the hole closed. We had two options....feed her whatever she would eat, or go through surgery again and start all over with the feeding tube. We opted to try to get her to eat. She is still growing. She is on the chart, but at the very bottom of it. The problem is what she eats. The GI doctor even told me, go to the store and anything and everything you would NOT buy if you were on a diet...that's what to get her. Make her gain weight or she would end up back on a feeding tube. so...her diet consists of ****. She won't eat meat. She won't eat vegetables. She won't eat too much fruit. She will eat sugars, carbs, eggs, breads, cheeses, condiments, dips, yogurt, sometimes cottage cheese. That's about it.
I have read a lot about ADHD and a lot of sites point to changing diet. Elminate the sugar, dyes, processed foods, and sometimes gluten. The sugar is a fairly easy task for me to try. Almost everything is made in a sugar free formula. There are many cookbooks on the market for sugar free cooking. Getting rid of dyes may not be as easy, and eliminating processed foods would be almost impossible. We'd be down to very little that she would eat.
I do have an appointment with her pediatrician on November 4th, and got the phone number to a behavioral department in our county. I also ordered two books (which haven't gotten here yet) and natural supplements or remedies for her. We started fish oil on Tuesday night, and the other herbal supplement called "Focus" (I think) last night. There is one more that I am starting tomorrow recommended to go along with the Focus called "BrightSpark". Obviously it's too early to tell if it's doing any good.
As far as mental illnesses or substance abuses....there is no substance abuse to speak of as far as me or her father. My dad is an alcoholic, but stopped drinking 30 years ago. My grandmother was bipolar, but was left untreated as her brother was into keeping up appearances. She died of alzheimers. I ended up going through rehab at the age of 16 for drugs and alcohol, but have not used or drank to excess for 16 years now except for the occasional drunk night out with girlfriends (probably 10 times in the last 16 years). I do smoke. I have smoked since I was 13. I have been on antidepressants, both as a teenager, and for PPD after she was born. Many days I think I should go back on antidepressants now. Her father's family history...both his parents are alcoholics, but do not drink anymore. He has two sons, one is 20 and one is 18. I have been with him for 6 years. The 20 year old was on Ritalin as a young child, and probalby needed to be on something for the 4 years he was around me. He had temper issues (punched holes in walls, tore things apart, threatened to hurt himself and others). he was a mix of hyperactive sometimes and totally tired and drained others. His 18 year old brother doesn't exhibit those behaviors. he seems normal. Just lazy. My daughter's father was also on some sort of ADHD medication as a child. Even to this day he can't sit still very much without falling asleep. I'm not sure if that is a sign of anything either. If he sits still, he will be asleep in 2 minutes flat. One of my father's daughter's sisters is a drug addict. What else is going on with her I don't know. She is an RN and using some pretty heavy drugs. His other sister supposedly has a psychiatric degree. and his third sister has jealousy issues about everything...never happy for somebody else's good fortune. They were all abused as children...the 3 girls sexually and physically, my daughter's father physically, from their father, and my daughter's father was in turn sexually abused by his sister, the one with the psychiatric degree who is now a lesbian.
Okay....sorry...that was a long post and lots of info, but both Beth and "MidwestMom" asked some in depth questions. That's all I can really tell you.
Today was a good day mostly, except for the pooping in the back yard incident and dumping a whole bag of chips on the table. She wasn't quite as loud and obnoxious today.
That's another thing. Right at this moment we live with my parents, so in the house is my mom and dad, me, my daughter's father, his 18 year old son, my 3 year old, and my 7 month old, along with various pets. The more people that are home at a single time, the worse she behaves, and she acts the worst when her father is home....being loud and all. He is louder than most too, but definitely not as loud as her.
Thanks for any insight any of you can give me into this. I'm willing to try whatever I can to try to get her closer to the world's "normal" before Kindergarten starts. She is a bright child, but cannot focus. I can't sit and read to her...she won't sit still and just starts flipping the pages so you can't read. I can't sit and teach her numbers, colors, letters, anything because she won't sit still, and if she happens to sit still, she is pinging from one topic to another and won't stay focused. We can't sit and color, do crafts, anything. I can't have her help me with most things because she is always rough (stirring things so they splash everywhere, throwing the food items into the grocery cart, throwing the dog food into the bowl instead of putting it in there nicely). I want to be able to sit with her, cuddle with her, read to her, teach her, and it's killing me that I can't, and that she's going to be behind, and possibly so disruptive, that she won't thrive in school. Like I said...she's bright.
Tomorrow is my normal grocery shopping day, and due to financial reasons I couldn't go out earlier than that this week, but starting tomorrow she will be at least 95% off of sugar if not more.
If it comes down to it, she will eventually end up on some ADHD medication, and probably back to a feeding tube as her appetite still isn't great at this time, and I have read that most of the medicines out there suppress the appetite even further.
Anyhow, as stated before I have an appointment with her pediatrician on november 4th, but I also decided to call around here and I found a psychiatrist (or psychologist...can't remember) that is going to also see her...probalby next week. I know this is just a start, and we may need many more evaluations, but my quest at this point is to be comfortable with a diagnosis and direction as to how to deal with her before she starts kindergarten in 2 years. Then I can talk to the school and get an IEP set up for her, and at least the teachers won't think she is simply a spoiled brat who was never disciplined. I already know that most of the things I have tried with discipline do not work, and apparently trying to just communicate with her doesn't always seem to work. She understands what I am saying, but doesn't follow through with actions or words. But hopefully we'll start getting somewhere.
