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Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)/obsessive traits in adults? Feedback please!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 121700" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Oh yeah, we get it too. Some obsessions do change with time, others do not. And you can't change them, all you can do is try to redirect if possible, live with it if not possible.</p><p></p><p>If it's legal, if it's not affecting you (other than annoying you), then I would live with it. If you try to force him to change and the obsession is that strong, all you will do is drive it underground.</p><p></p><p>I understand your desire for delicacy, which does give me some hints - but from my experience, and the way my mind is ticking, I doubt that the reality of what he is doing could be any 'worse' than what my mind is thinking of!</p><p></p><p>If this is an obsession you can tolerate or share, it could be a positive step to at least indulge him. But if you can't or you feel uncomfortable about it, tell him. Above all else, you need honesty.</p><p></p><p>husband's current obsession is trains. He's actually been crazy about trains all his life, but it's taken various forms. Right now he's in hog heaven, having finally got his licence to drive the little steam locomotives. A lot of the men in his club have wives who are resentful, and the men have only each other to share the hobby with. I go along with husband, I listen when he is telling me things, I make an effort to learn at least a little about it - but that is my choice. He is grateful that I'm 'indulging' him.</p><p>The group has one female member - she joined because her husband was a member. He died a year ago, she still comes along and drives trains.</p><p>All the other female attendees are the volunteer workers. The men couldn't manage without them, they'd never remember to feed themselves!</p><p></p><p>But as you said, this problem is a bit more 'intimate' - you need to think about how it affects you, and why. And you both need to be able to be honest with each other. If this is interfering with that, then yes - it could be a problem.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 121700, member: 1991"] Oh yeah, we get it too. Some obsessions do change with time, others do not. And you can't change them, all you can do is try to redirect if possible, live with it if not possible. If it's legal, if it's not affecting you (other than annoying you), then I would live with it. If you try to force him to change and the obsession is that strong, all you will do is drive it underground. I understand your desire for delicacy, which does give me some hints - but from my experience, and the way my mind is ticking, I doubt that the reality of what he is doing could be any 'worse' than what my mind is thinking of! If this is an obsession you can tolerate or share, it could be a positive step to at least indulge him. But if you can't or you feel uncomfortable about it, tell him. Above all else, you need honesty. husband's current obsession is trains. He's actually been crazy about trains all his life, but it's taken various forms. Right now he's in hog heaven, having finally got his licence to drive the little steam locomotives. A lot of the men in his club have wives who are resentful, and the men have only each other to share the hobby with. I go along with husband, I listen when he is telling me things, I make an effort to learn at least a little about it - but that is my choice. He is grateful that I'm 'indulging' him. The group has one female member - she joined because her husband was a member. He died a year ago, she still comes along and drives trains. All the other female attendees are the volunteer workers. The men couldn't manage without them, they'd never remember to feed themselves! But as you said, this problem is a bit more 'intimate' - you need to think about how it affects you, and why. And you both need to be able to be honest with each other. If this is interfering with that, then yes - it could be a problem. Marg [/QUOTE]
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