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Baby steps for me
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 597850" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>I like Eckhart Tolle too.</p><p></p><p>When my difficult child started his relationship with the girlfriend from h*** (they are so much alike sigh) and the harassment started, requests from money, finally had to call the police to stop it, I started waking up in the middle of the night scared. I didn't have dreams that I could remember, but a deep dark sense of dread. I also woke up very tired each morning.</p><p></p><p>The latest storms made me think of him, hoping he is safe and has a place to sleep and food to eat. Then, I also thought of his latest conn last year where he said he was homeless and needed money for food - I was jumping through hoops and it was all a lie - they were using my money to party. </p><p></p><p>After 6 months of NC I am coming to terms with - his choices, his life. It is hard to let go of the dreams we had for this special person in our life. It's hard to accept that someone we love as much as we do them could treat us in such a manner. I finally accept that the son I raised is in the past - I cherish those memories. The son I have in the present has zero respect for me and I refuse to be treated in such a way. Actually, as I am facing the truth, I have zero respect for him the way he is now. I never loose hope..... but, I do not hold my breath waiting for him to change. I have started to change me, the only person I can change. </p><p></p><p>Good for you for looking out for yourself.</p><p>(((hugs and blessings)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 597850, member: 13558"] I like Eckhart Tolle too. When my difficult child started his relationship with the girlfriend from h*** (they are so much alike sigh) and the harassment started, requests from money, finally had to call the police to stop it, I started waking up in the middle of the night scared. I didn't have dreams that I could remember, but a deep dark sense of dread. I also woke up very tired each morning. The latest storms made me think of him, hoping he is safe and has a place to sleep and food to eat. Then, I also thought of his latest conn last year where he said he was homeless and needed money for food - I was jumping through hoops and it was all a lie - they were using my money to party. After 6 months of NC I am coming to terms with - his choices, his life. It is hard to let go of the dreams we had for this special person in our life. It's hard to accept that someone we love as much as we do them could treat us in such a manner. I finally accept that the son I raised is in the past - I cherish those memories. The son I have in the present has zero respect for me and I refuse to be treated in such a way. Actually, as I am facing the truth, I have zero respect for him the way he is now. I never loose hope..... but, I do not hold my breath waiting for him to change. I have started to change me, the only person I can change. Good for you for looking out for yourself. (((hugs and blessings))) [/QUOTE]
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