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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 148551" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Hi, Astrid. You're only 21? Don't give up on yourself or think this is as good as you can be - from what I've seen, with our older son as well as older friends of his and difficult child 3's drama classmates, you can continue to adapt and 'improve' (don't like using that word, but I'm too tired to think of the right one) a lot more yet.</p><p></p><p>I've learned to ignore the calendar, when it comes to "He should be able to do that by now, at his age." I've seen difficult child 1 improve a lot over the last few years. easy child 2/difficult child 2 is only just 21 and still 'immature' in various ways, still needs to 'grow up' and learn more skills in getting on with other people, and living independently. But even in the last few weeks I see improvement.</p><p></p><p>It just takes a bit longer, when you're on the autism spectrum.</p><p></p><p>I'm not (officially) on the spectrum myself; when I stop to really think about it the most that could be said is that I maybe have traits, that's all. But even in my case, I was not a complete person, not a properly functioning and capable adult, until I was almost 30. I had a few crises to deal with (health, mostly) and I just wasn't up to it when I was younger. I was living on my own from age 17, frankly I'm lucky I survived the experience! </p><p></p><p>So give yourself time, be positive about what you CAN do, take pleasure in your abilities and accept what you can't do as no big deal. Maybe one day you will be able to do more; maybe not. Maybe one day you will discover depths and abilities in yourself that have still not developed. </p><p></p><p>Something I have seen in difficult child 1 - as he gets more accustomed to a situation or an experience (such as when he repeats the experience or gets practice at something) he begins to gain more confidence in it until he is not only capable of performing a task which used to be beyond him, but he becomes quite good at it. He is meticulous in doing a job to the last tiny detail, so he's trying to use that to his advantage by working on things that require attention to detail in a boring environment. It's the sort of thing other people don't do so well in, but it suits him perfectly.</p><p></p><p>I hope you get your accommodation problems sorted out soon.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 148551, member: 1991"] Hi, Astrid. You're only 21? Don't give up on yourself or think this is as good as you can be - from what I've seen, with our older son as well as older friends of his and difficult child 3's drama classmates, you can continue to adapt and 'improve' (don't like using that word, but I'm too tired to think of the right one) a lot more yet. I've learned to ignore the calendar, when it comes to "He should be able to do that by now, at his age." I've seen difficult child 1 improve a lot over the last few years. easy child 2/difficult child 2 is only just 21 and still 'immature' in various ways, still needs to 'grow up' and learn more skills in getting on with other people, and living independently. But even in the last few weeks I see improvement. It just takes a bit longer, when you're on the autism spectrum. I'm not (officially) on the spectrum myself; when I stop to really think about it the most that could be said is that I maybe have traits, that's all. But even in my case, I was not a complete person, not a properly functioning and capable adult, until I was almost 30. I had a few crises to deal with (health, mostly) and I just wasn't up to it when I was younger. I was living on my own from age 17, frankly I'm lucky I survived the experience! So give yourself time, be positive about what you CAN do, take pleasure in your abilities and accept what you can't do as no big deal. Maybe one day you will be able to do more; maybe not. Maybe one day you will discover depths and abilities in yourself that have still not developed. Something I have seen in difficult child 1 - as he gets more accustomed to a situation or an experience (such as when he repeats the experience or gets practice at something) he begins to gain more confidence in it until he is not only capable of performing a task which used to be beyond him, but he becomes quite good at it. He is meticulous in doing a job to the last tiny detail, so he's trying to use that to his advantage by working on things that require attention to detail in a boring environment. It's the sort of thing other people don't do so well in, but it suits him perfectly. I hope you get your accommodation problems sorted out soon. Marg [/QUOTE]
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