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Substance Abuse
Backk on the streetss!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 594110" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Thank you everyone for all your thoughts. Kathy I think it is good our difficult children are not in the same physical place because I am sure they would find each other!!! I hope for your sake she doesnt get kicked out.... but really I also think that for these kids that dont obey rules it doesnt help them to get break after break because then they think they can break the rules... and really if my difficult child does not get that he cant do that he will end up in jail!!</p><p></p><p>AG - I am not sure I totally agree it is a "choice". I think with my difficult child there are some underlying mental health issues that make him do this stuff... he does not think through the consequences before he acts. However that also can not use this as an excuse because he has somehow got to learn and get help to figure out how to do what most people do naturally.</p><p></p><p>I am kind of taking bets on how long it will before he contacts me. We have not heard from him at all since this happened. They did tell him we were on board so he knows we know but has not called us. I have been a little torn between my heart and my gut.... because my heart wants to reach out and tell him I love him no matter what. I know that he has major abandonment issues (I think due to being adopted) and those feel so hard and so I so dont want him feel abandoned by us. on the other hand my gut is saying strongly that this has to be his journey and at this point I need to stay out of it so I should be here if he contacts me but i should not contact him. I asked the friend who runs the sober houe and he told me to go with my gut, not my heart so that is what I am doing. I did text difficult child yesterday with a message he got on the home phone (from a bank which is weird) but I dont think he got my text. I will see if I hear anything from him on Mothers day.... I am not counting on it at all and will not let it ruin my day if I dont!</p><p></p><p>I take comfort in the fact that he is in a place where it is warm, and that he knows what he needs to do to get back into the house and that is an option. That the guys out there know the streets and will try to keep track of him and are willing to meet him and take him out for a sandwhich. So is not all alone with no where to turn.... and fact is at this point he knows how to live on the streets. So it is better than last time, although still not great.</p><p></p><p>I am doing ok. I do better when I am busy. Yesterday i got into a funk and I have been binge eating which makes me feel worse....so I am just trying to keep busy, think about the things I need to and want to do and not totally focus on him. I find I am getting better at doing this as I keep having to do this. I am sleeping although not as well as I was before.</p><p></p><p>He did post something on FB yesterday that he was doing good, he was sober and counting the days until he was reaccepted by his family. On the one hand I was glad to see he was sober, doing ok and obviously thinking about how to get back into the house.... and at least if he is thinking about the guys as family that is a good thing.... on the other h it stings to realize that I dont think he is thinking of us as his family anymore.</p><p></p><p>For him to get back into the house he does need to be clean and they will drug test him so that is good and hopefully will be a deterrent for him and will keep him motivated to stay sober. Hopefully he is really thinking right now about what he wants in life and what he has to do to get it. </p><p></p><p>I am trying not to feel hopeless.</p><p></p><p>I am so thankful for this board and all of you.</p><p></p><p>*TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 594110, member: 15801"] Thank you everyone for all your thoughts. Kathy I think it is good our difficult children are not in the same physical place because I am sure they would find each other!!! I hope for your sake she doesnt get kicked out.... but really I also think that for these kids that dont obey rules it doesnt help them to get break after break because then they think they can break the rules... and really if my difficult child does not get that he cant do that he will end up in jail!! AG - I am not sure I totally agree it is a "choice". I think with my difficult child there are some underlying mental health issues that make him do this stuff... he does not think through the consequences before he acts. However that also can not use this as an excuse because he has somehow got to learn and get help to figure out how to do what most people do naturally. I am kind of taking bets on how long it will before he contacts me. We have not heard from him at all since this happened. They did tell him we were on board so he knows we know but has not called us. I have been a little torn between my heart and my gut.... because my heart wants to reach out and tell him I love him no matter what. I know that he has major abandonment issues (I think due to being adopted) and those feel so hard and so I so dont want him feel abandoned by us. on the other hand my gut is saying strongly that this has to be his journey and at this point I need to stay out of it so I should be here if he contacts me but i should not contact him. I asked the friend who runs the sober houe and he told me to go with my gut, not my heart so that is what I am doing. I did text difficult child yesterday with a message he got on the home phone (from a bank which is weird) but I dont think he got my text. I will see if I hear anything from him on Mothers day.... I am not counting on it at all and will not let it ruin my day if I dont! I take comfort in the fact that he is in a place where it is warm, and that he knows what he needs to do to get back into the house and that is an option. That the guys out there know the streets and will try to keep track of him and are willing to meet him and take him out for a sandwhich. So is not all alone with no where to turn.... and fact is at this point he knows how to live on the streets. So it is better than last time, although still not great. I am doing ok. I do better when I am busy. Yesterday i got into a funk and I have been binge eating which makes me feel worse....so I am just trying to keep busy, think about the things I need to and want to do and not totally focus on him. I find I am getting better at doing this as I keep having to do this. I am sleeping although not as well as I was before. He did post something on FB yesterday that he was doing good, he was sober and counting the days until he was reaccepted by his family. On the one hand I was glad to see he was sober, doing ok and obviously thinking about how to get back into the house.... and at least if he is thinking about the guys as family that is a good thing.... on the other h it stings to realize that I dont think he is thinking of us as his family anymore. For him to get back into the house he does need to be clean and they will drug test him so that is good and hopefully will be a deterrent for him and will keep him motivated to stay sober. Hopefully he is really thinking right now about what he wants in life and what he has to do to get it. I am trying not to feel hopeless. I am so thankful for this board and all of you. *TL [/QUOTE]
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