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Substance Abuse
Backk on the streetss!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 594166" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Thanks LMS... you are absolutely right about my not owning his abandonment issues. I think I feel guilty about letting him cry when we brought him home because we could not figure out what else to do his first night home.... and he would not stop crying no matter what we tried... and for the time when he was 15 when we left him at the TBS and he did not want us to leave...... but really those things were not abandonment... when he was in the TBS we flew down every month to see him for goodness sakes. I have been there for him over and over..... and my easy child daughter told me yestrday oh my God you have always been there for him even when you shouldnt have. LOL. So yes I have finally realized his issues around abandonment are really not about me at all.... they are his issues related to his adoption.... and he is the one who needs to get therapy to help him work them through ..... along with working through all his other issues!!</p><p></p><p>And when I said some of his screwing up is not so much a choice as much as due to underlying issues... I think that is true and I got clearer on the whole issue of looking at substance abuse as a disease rather than a choice.... BUT he does have the choice to get and use help for his issues. I cant do that for him and I cant make him either.</p><p></p><p>One of the other requirements for him going back to the sober house is that he needs to be getting therapy and I totally agree with that.</p><p></p><p>*TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 594166, member: 15801"] Thanks LMS... you are absolutely right about my not owning his abandonment issues. I think I feel guilty about letting him cry when we brought him home because we could not figure out what else to do his first night home.... and he would not stop crying no matter what we tried... and for the time when he was 15 when we left him at the TBS and he did not want us to leave...... but really those things were not abandonment... when he was in the TBS we flew down every month to see him for goodness sakes. I have been there for him over and over..... and my easy child daughter told me yestrday oh my God you have always been there for him even when you shouldnt have. LOL. So yes I have finally realized his issues around abandonment are really not about me at all.... they are his issues related to his adoption.... and he is the one who needs to get therapy to help him work them through ..... along with working through all his other issues!! And when I said some of his screwing up is not so much a choice as much as due to underlying issues... I think that is true and I got clearer on the whole issue of looking at substance abuse as a disease rather than a choice.... BUT he does have the choice to get and use help for his issues. I cant do that for him and I cant make him either. One of the other requirements for him going back to the sober house is that he needs to be getting therapy and I totally agree with that. *TL [/QUOTE]
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