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Bad Therapy session
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 390742"><p>Cari Lynn,</p><p></p><p>This sounded so familiar in so many ways. My sons therapist once told me after we had a session with him and my son.... that it pained him to see how surly and uncooperative my son got when we were in the room. He wasn't like that when it was just my son and the therapist. This is one of the thing that hurts so much, is when I see my son with other people I see the positive side of him.... with us he completely shuts down, is surly and uncommunicative. It hurts and it is painful to be sure.</p><p></p><p>My son is older than yours and further down the dark path..... but now he is in rehab and getting some intensive therapy. This time he had some real external motivation to get help that wasn't us.... so I am hopeful that we can get to the real issues that are causing his shut down and his anger. I don't completely know what they are but I have some guesses.</p><p></p><p>I do know for us it is time for my son to get help and figure this out and in fact we have to back off being involved in the therapy to some extent because his issues are also all tied up with wanting to separate from us and be an adult and having no idea really how to do that. And of course in my sons case it is all complicated and made much worse by his serious drug problem.</p><p></p><p>I still think you need to get your son drug tested to see if that is at least part of the issue. Drug use complicates everything and makes normal teenage surliness much much worse.</p><p></p><p>There are therapeutic boarding schools that deal with these kind of issues while also helping kids get on track school wise. My son went to one for a while, came back and was great, and then went down hill again.... but he went back to finish some credits for a couple of weeks so he could get his hs diploma. </p><p></p><p>I don't think your son is going to do the work at school until you get at what else is going on. Doesn't sound like he is at all motivated to do the work and no amount of asking, begging, scolding is going to make him do the work. That is one of the reasons i wonder about drugs, there is no demotivator like pot. It saps the motivation out of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 390742"] Cari Lynn, This sounded so familiar in so many ways. My sons therapist once told me after we had a session with him and my son.... that it pained him to see how surly and uncooperative my son got when we were in the room. He wasn't like that when it was just my son and the therapist. This is one of the thing that hurts so much, is when I see my son with other people I see the positive side of him.... with us he completely shuts down, is surly and uncommunicative. It hurts and it is painful to be sure. My son is older than yours and further down the dark path..... but now he is in rehab and getting some intensive therapy. This time he had some real external motivation to get help that wasn't us.... so I am hopeful that we can get to the real issues that are causing his shut down and his anger. I don't completely know what they are but I have some guesses. I do know for us it is time for my son to get help and figure this out and in fact we have to back off being involved in the therapy to some extent because his issues are also all tied up with wanting to separate from us and be an adult and having no idea really how to do that. And of course in my sons case it is all complicated and made much worse by his serious drug problem. I still think you need to get your son drug tested to see if that is at least part of the issue. Drug use complicates everything and makes normal teenage surliness much much worse. There are therapeutic boarding schools that deal with these kind of issues while also helping kids get on track school wise. My son went to one for a while, came back and was great, and then went down hill again.... but he went back to finish some credits for a couple of weeks so he could get his hs diploma. I don't think your son is going to do the work at school until you get at what else is going on. Doesn't sound like he is at all motivated to do the work and no amount of asking, begging, scolding is going to make him do the work. That is one of the reasons i wonder about drugs, there is no demotivator like pot. It saps the motivation out of you. [/QUOTE]
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