Baseball and difficult child's

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Castle Queen, Jul 7, 2014.

  1. Castle Queen

    Castle Queen Warrior in training

    First of all let me say this: difficult child is not in general an athletically talented kid. He is also, of course, a difficult child. So there's 2 strikes against him already...no pun intended. He is a fairly talented pitcher...in my mind at least and in the mind of a few of his previous coaches that bothered to give him some encouragement. But, since we moved to DF's town, he's not really getting an opportunity. First during school ball, now summer ball (same coach.)Sometimes he's not even given time to practice pitching at practice. Writing this, I want to let difficult child handle this for himself...but I fear he won't. He can't play the other positions nearly as well so gets stuck in right field. I am afraid that if he loses baseball, he will lose the opportunity to have a valued identity, since other sports haven't been successful for him. I am afraid his resentment may lead him to do something he'll regret. Do I talk to the coach or at age 13 is this in difficult child's hands? I am pretty sure I know what you all will say, but I want to make sure I'm not lying down on the job as a parent.
     
  2. jugey

    jugey Active Member

    I would, but that's just me. My difficult child is terribly anxious and shy and I gently nudge on her behalf, when I feel it's right. She has a hard time asking for what she wants....asking other people, that is. She had no problem with husband and I!!!

    I encourage her to try on her own first, but if I see her anxiety kick in, I'll help her out. Sometimes I don't even tell her I've done it.

    It's a slippery slope but I trust my instincts here.
     
  3. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    How does he feel about it? Does he really want to continue to play baseball? I thought my oldest did at that age and, as it turned out, he was only continuing because he thought I enjoyed hanging out with other parents and watching the games. Some of the other parents were ok but the games were I-N-T-E-R-M-I-N-A-B-L-E and BORING! Have I ever mentioned that I have no sports genes and zero interest in any type of athletic activity? I was glad when I asked him if he wanted some private instruction before trying out for the middle school team because it gave him the chance to tell me he wanted to quit.

    If, however, your son does want to continue playing, brainstorm some solutions with him. Talk about what he wants to accomplish - does he want to meet with the coach? Maybe he can email the coach and ask for a meeting with him at a set time, rather than just waylay him some time? He can practice what he wants to say and if it helps him, he can make a note card with his points. Before he goes, he should practice with you. First, he plays himself and you are coach and then you reverse. Take this seriously and it can be really helpful. I actually use this brainstorming technique with my daughter before she goes on job interviews... If it makes him feel better, perhaps you or DF can go. If he gets along well with DF and DF is supportive, this could be very good for their relationship and a man talking to a coach might make a difference (sad to say, but I know my son didn't get the opportunities he should have because my H hate sports even more than I do and wouldn't even go the games so my son had no father figure there. To this day, he claims that staying home and watching the younger kids was harder than going to the games, but I dispute that!)

    Good luck.
     
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