Batten down the hatches - thank you is 21 today!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by slsh, Mar 9, 2012.

  1. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Hard to believe old Tyler-Bear is 21, but there it is. We're not where I thought we would be at this stage, which is good, LOL. He's doing pretty doggone well, and is still an absolute delight to have at home. Sweet kid, loving, definitely moving in the right direction. It was all worth it, several times over, to be where we're at now.

  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY thank you! Have a wonderful celebration.
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    That's great news! Happy Birthday, thank you!!!!
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Happy Birthday thank you!!!
    Sue-I think I'll have a permanent smile on my face today after reading how well he is doing!
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Happy birthday thank you!!!

    (Are you OLD ENOUGH to have a 21-y/o son?!)
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Happy Birthday thank you!

    I'm so glad for you that he is doing so much better.
  7. keista

    keista New Member

    Happy Birthday to both of you!
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911

    wait a minute -

    One of the original three heads of CERBERUS is ........(gotta get this right so as not to insult the other two heads) A DELIGHT TO HAVE AT HOME????nae - AN ABSOLUTE DELIGHT TO HAVE AT HOME.

    :bdayparty::bdayparty:HAPPY BIRTHDAY thank you-BEAR!!!!!!!! :bdayparty::bdayparty:

    faints dead away at the fact that he's made it to 21 and Mom is still breathing! lol
  9. cubsgirl

    cubsgirl Well-Known Member

    Happy Birthday thank you!!
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Have a great celebration. Hugs DDD
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow...just wow. Sue, looking back at that little 7 year old boy he was when we met this is just amazing. You may have the best outcome of us all.
  12. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

  13. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Lord, these kids have GOT to stop growing up. They're making me feel OLD.

    Happy 21st thank you!!! :)
  14. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    :quote:He's doing pretty doggone well, and is still an absolute delight to have at home. Sweet kid, loving, definitely moving in the right direction. It was all worth it, several times over, to be where we're at now. :/quote:

    Delight? Sweet kid? Moving in the right direction?

    It's hard enough to believe that thank you is 21...what a miracle that you are using these adjectives to describe him! It's positively wonderful, Sue. What do you attribute this change to?

  15. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    OMG, Sue ~ it's hard to believe that thank you is 21 yet alone being a delight to have home.

    Honey, you have fought the good fight & the results are so exciting. Give young thank you a big old board auntie hug for me.
  16. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Wow - already?? 21??? Time flies when you are having fun LOL Its been a long stretch and am so glad to see the both of you come out the other side intact and happy

  17. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    LOL - No, Step, I'm most definitely *not* old enough to have a 21-year-old (or his 23-year-old brother). :rofl:

    Suz - Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I think the change has everything to do with him and not a whole lot to do with- anything we ever did (which is incredibly frustrating!!), aside from letting him know we were here if/when he got it together. He's adamant that the behaviors were 100% volitional on his part, which I have a hard time wrapping my head around (what child chooses institutions over home?), but... I think bottom line is he just finally got tired of it all. We were told when he was 9 that he'd change when it got to be too expensive for him to stay the same - who knew it would take so doggone long! So I don't have a road map for promoting positive change, just a deep and daily gratitude that he survived long enough to make that change.

    I will say that he seems to have zero anger over the well-meant choices husband and I made to try to get him on track, and that's been really healing for me - I find myself second-guessing those choices far less now.

    It was kind of surreal the night before his b-day, talking about rules re: alcohol in the house. I know how easy it is to fall into the bottom of a bottle and that is my biggest worry for him. But we're sitting in the living room, emphasizing no drunken homecomings, *no* drunk driving (him or friends), no providing alcohol to minors, no beer for breakfast, etc., and he's sitting there listening and agreeing. Hunh???? Who is this man-child??? When I get to the part about if he gets in a car with- a drunk driver and doesn't get splattered all over the road, *I* will kill him - I won't be happy to get a call in the wee hours to come pick him up, but I will be far more ticked if I get the call to collect his personal effects - he just looked at me and said, "Mom, you've been telling me that since I was 2. I *know*, and I will *call* you, I promise." LOL, I guess he did hear me.

    He brought me home one of those wine cooler malt drinks last night. Guess the guy at the liquor store gave him a hard time about turning 21 and drinking *that* as opposed to - I don't know, bottle of whiskey? LOL. thank you took it all in stride and we toasted his b-day.
  18. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I highly doubt that! You have been an advocate for him, put up with him and were a warrior mom all the way. Glad he's doing so well. It gives the rest of us so much to look forward to. Now if I could just hit the ffwd button until she is 21.
  19. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    THIS is the fun part <grin>
    You see, "our" kids are on a different maturity time table than "NT" kids...
    NT kids get a lot of the basics early, and then... the curve really slows down going into adult-hood, and they get stuck in that "teen" stage. Some NT kids never get out of that stage!
    "Our" kids... have the slow-curve in the beginning. And then, as they get into/through the teen years, the curve switches... and they mature REALLY fast.

  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sue...Cory says the same exact thing about his behaviors. That everything he did was him and that nothing we could have done would have changed a doggone thing. Obviously we tried everything. He also isnt mad a bit. Lord he has enough to be mad about. Both our boys lost most of their teen years to placements yet they arent upset at us. I think that is cool. I think they get it.