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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 420714" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I don't think he is capable of getting it. I also think that at some level he feels his family slipping away from him and he is trying to cling on tightly. But doesn't know how. Very sad, but you should not put yourselves at further risk.</p><p></p><p>Re you closing the FB page - you made a very wise decision under the (complex) circumstances. The only thing I might have done differently is to talk to him first before you close it and explain why; perhaps even engage him in the decision to close it as a mature, responsible, honest way to handle it (because of the deception involved). Especially given that you will reconsider after a certain amount of time has passed (and dad can't blow a gasket). </p><p></p><p>I also agree with you, a monitored FB page could be a good way for him to stay in touch. But MONITOR it! A young friend of difficult child 3's has his own FB page. I friended him when I started up. I have been horrified at times by the often unsuitable content. I am fairly sure his mother not only monitors it but also at times uses it (could account for some of the unsuitable content!) </p><p></p><p>FB is good to maintain contact. But it is not the only way. Our kids when under-age joined Gaia. difficult child 3 has recently been back playing Gaia again, a lot. He found a battleship game there which he enjoys. Gaia is designed for kids under age (possibly under 18 but more than 15; I'm not sure) and is careful with supervision/moderation. No photos are used; instead you create/customise an avatar, buying more stuff for it as you earn points. There are places on the site for private conversations - easy child 2/difficult child 2 used it a lot when she broke up with first boyfriend. It was unfortunately Gaia where he blogged nastily about her, but her next boyfriend was already quietly on the scene as a friend and supported her - through Gaia. They used to have long, very private conversations there which helped her resolve the issues and handle them maturely. And he is the guy she eventually married. They did already know each other in the real world, Gaia just helped them stay in touch on another level.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 420714, member: 1991"] I don't think he is capable of getting it. I also think that at some level he feels his family slipping away from him and he is trying to cling on tightly. But doesn't know how. Very sad, but you should not put yourselves at further risk. Re you closing the FB page - you made a very wise decision under the (complex) circumstances. The only thing I might have done differently is to talk to him first before you close it and explain why; perhaps even engage him in the decision to close it as a mature, responsible, honest way to handle it (because of the deception involved). Especially given that you will reconsider after a certain amount of time has passed (and dad can't blow a gasket). I also agree with you, a monitored FB page could be a good way for him to stay in touch. But MONITOR it! A young friend of difficult child 3's has his own FB page. I friended him when I started up. I have been horrified at times by the often unsuitable content. I am fairly sure his mother not only monitors it but also at times uses it (could account for some of the unsuitable content!) FB is good to maintain contact. But it is not the only way. Our kids when under-age joined Gaia. difficult child 3 has recently been back playing Gaia again, a lot. He found a battleship game there which he enjoys. Gaia is designed for kids under age (possibly under 18 but more than 15; I'm not sure) and is careful with supervision/moderation. No photos are used; instead you create/customise an avatar, buying more stuff for it as you earn points. There are places on the site for private conversations - easy child 2/difficult child 2 used it a lot when she broke up with first boyfriend. It was unfortunately Gaia where he blogged nastily about her, but her next boyfriend was already quietly on the scene as a friend and supported her - through Gaia. They used to have long, very private conversations there which helped her resolve the issues and handle them maturely. And he is the guy she eventually married. They did already know each other in the real world, Gaia just helped them stay in touch on another level. Marg [/QUOTE]
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