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Be prepared...Corys got a probation appointment tomorrow
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<blockquote data-quote="Abbey" data-source="post: 181555" data-attributes="member: 179"><p>Awww...Janet.</p><p> </p><p>As much as you love your son, I know it's incredibly hard to watch this happen. And, it DOES need to happen. He needs to learn that there is a real life out there where sometimes you have to do things you don't really want to do. It's just the way the world works...or the alternative is what you are going through. You choose.</p><p> </p><p>So, if he chooses the alternative, here's what happens:</p><p> </p><p>1 - I will not help you in any way, shape or form.</p><p>2 - You will not be welcome at my house.</p><p>3 - I will not trust one word that comes out of your mouth.</p><p>4 - I love you as you are my son, but I don't like you.</p><p>5 - Give me 6 months of clean living on your own and I MIGHT think about being part of your life again.</p><p> </p><p>Going to jail? Heck...it might be the best thing for him. He gets 3 square meals a day, a bed to sleep in, and a LOT of time to think. That time to think is called PLANNING TIME. What am I going to do so I don't have to go through this again? And this is the hard part, Janet. </p><p> </p><p>The 'plan' shouldn't involve YOU. He's a grown man. He needs to figure out where he's going to live, what job he can get, etc. There are resources for people who are released. They just have to be willing to take advantage of them. If he really showed that he is totally focused on being on the straight and narrow, I'm sure he'd have many resources that would help him. But...again, that is HIS work, not yours. You have done your work. Unfortunately, most inmates do not take advantage of the resources. They go back to the people who have enabled them for years. Don't do that.</p><p> </p><p>I know husband and I went back and forth when J was released this last time. I said NO. Nada. My God...the boy is 24 and brilliant. Let him figure it out. Yes, I knew it would be incredibly hard for him, and it still is. But you don't fix a lifetime of screwups in 2 weeks. Give me 6 months, then we'll talk. And we did. Even 6 months is barely scratching the layers. It's at best a minimal start. If you see he's really pulling the boot straps up and working his arse off, then you might want to help a small bit. Nothing wrong with that. But HE has to show HE wants it.</p><p> </p><p>Ok...I'll get off my soapbox now.</p><p> </p><p>Abbey</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Abbey, post: 181555, member: 179"] Awww...Janet. As much as you love your son, I know it's incredibly hard to watch this happen. And, it DOES need to happen. He needs to learn that there is a real life out there where sometimes you have to do things you don't really want to do. It's just the way the world works...or the alternative is what you are going through. You choose. So, if he chooses the alternative, here's what happens: 1 - I will not help you in any way, shape or form. 2 - You will not be welcome at my house. 3 - I will not trust one word that comes out of your mouth. 4 - I love you as you are my son, but I don't like you. 5 - Give me 6 months of clean living on your own and I MIGHT think about being part of your life again. Going to jail? Heck...it might be the best thing for him. He gets 3 square meals a day, a bed to sleep in, and a LOT of time to think. That time to think is called PLANNING TIME. What am I going to do so I don't have to go through this again? And this is the hard part, Janet. The 'plan' shouldn't involve YOU. He's a grown man. He needs to figure out where he's going to live, what job he can get, etc. There are resources for people who are released. They just have to be willing to take advantage of them. If he really showed that he is totally focused on being on the straight and narrow, I'm sure he'd have many resources that would help him. But...again, that is HIS work, not yours. You have done your work. Unfortunately, most inmates do not take advantage of the resources. They go back to the people who have enabled them for years. Don't do that. I know husband and I went back and forth when J was released this last time. I said NO. Nada. My God...the boy is 24 and brilliant. Let him figure it out. Yes, I knew it would be incredibly hard for him, and it still is. But you don't fix a lifetime of screwups in 2 weeks. Give me 6 months, then we'll talk. And we did. Even 6 months is barely scratching the layers. It's at best a minimal start. If you see he's really pulling the boot straps up and working his arse off, then you might want to help a small bit. Nothing wrong with that. But HE has to show HE wants it. Ok...I'll get off my soapbox now. Abbey [/QUOTE]
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Be prepared...Corys got a probation appointment tomorrow
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