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Beating with A Different Stick
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 608988" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>The home drug testing kits don't usually indicate the amount of THC found in the urine, so I guess my first suggestion would be to take him for a drug test at your physician's office as a little surprise, and get the lab test which shows the level of THC. That's what was suggested to me with my son, and we did that. The level was medium-high, which meant he was a daily smoker, several times/day. It reinforced to us that the depth of his usage tied into his lack of motivation, failing grades, also. However, our son was also using meth, but he never, ever came up positive on any surprise drug tests, which is still a mystery to me. We found meth para. and he even admitted it, but he never came up positive, so we couldn't rely on the drug tests for everything...his demeanor as a whole was more of a meaningful indicator.</p><p>We made it a priority to get him to a psychiatrist for evaluation as well, and this particular dr. specialized in adoption issues, so for us it was very helpful. I don't know if you want to make some kind of therapy a factor in his living with you at this time.</p><p>Prepare for him to push the envelope. If you say he can have the car from 7AM to 10PM, and he strolls in at 10:15, what are you going to do? It's so hard to have to play the "cop" in your own house, it's exhausting, isn't it? As Recovering said, they look for every loophole, and since he didn't wait long to sneak girlfriend in, I'd watch him like a hawk. The most troubling thing is the fact that he's being physically abused by this girl, which is very unsettling. My husband and I also found it very helpful to seek therapy ourselves while we were going through all that chaos with our son. We ran everything by the therapist, and we got great feedback. husband and I did not share similar parenting styles when it came to our son, and that drove a wedge between us that our son exploited for quite some time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 608988, member: 13882"] The home drug testing kits don't usually indicate the amount of THC found in the urine, so I guess my first suggestion would be to take him for a drug test at your physician's office as a little surprise, and get the lab test which shows the level of THC. That's what was suggested to me with my son, and we did that. The level was medium-high, which meant he was a daily smoker, several times/day. It reinforced to us that the depth of his usage tied into his lack of motivation, failing grades, also. However, our son was also using meth, but he never, ever came up positive on any surprise drug tests, which is still a mystery to me. We found meth para. and he even admitted it, but he never came up positive, so we couldn't rely on the drug tests for everything...his demeanor as a whole was more of a meaningful indicator. We made it a priority to get him to a psychiatrist for evaluation as well, and this particular dr. specialized in adoption issues, so for us it was very helpful. I don't know if you want to make some kind of therapy a factor in his living with you at this time. Prepare for him to push the envelope. If you say he can have the car from 7AM to 10PM, and he strolls in at 10:15, what are you going to do? It's so hard to have to play the "cop" in your own house, it's exhausting, isn't it? As Recovering said, they look for every loophole, and since he didn't wait long to sneak girlfriend in, I'd watch him like a hawk. The most troubling thing is the fact that he's being physically abused by this girl, which is very unsettling. My husband and I also found it very helpful to seek therapy ourselves while we were going through all that chaos with our son. We ran everything by the therapist, and we got great feedback. husband and I did not share similar parenting styles when it came to our son, and that drove a wedge between us that our son exploited for quite some time. [/QUOTE]
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