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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 366576" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>I know we need to let difficult child 1 and girlfriend work out how to handle this situation. With girlfriend's total lack of initiative and inert approach to things, I can tell that she'll end up </p><p>staying with her mother - difficult child 1 will have the choice of whether to stay or go, and he's very dependent on girlfriend at the moment - and she'll figure that imitating her mother's </p><p>methods of raising her will be just fine. I also think she'll have a breakdown and stop working permanently, not that the baby will get better care with her at home. I would</p><p>be prepared to do some child care ... I just don't think I can turn my back ... but it will be such a mess with the drug-using psycho girlfriend's mother. I guess it has to go one day </p><p>at a time and I'll check into local services and inquire how the hospital follows up with new parents. One home visit to that apartment and I would hope there would be an</p><p>ultimatum given to them - no more psycho mother in the household! But we shall see. As I said, I have no confidence that anything would be done. </p><p></p><p>I feel bad for difficult child 1, even though he's been so foolish getting into this situation. He wants to take care of this baby, even though he's apprehensive about whether the baby will</p><p>be healthy (he worries about passing on his own mental problems, not to mention his mother in law's, and he worries about girlfriend's chain smoking and poor eating habits); he has gotten a job</p><p>that tires him out and makes him hurt a lot and he's doing it every day no matter what - this is a first for him. So this huge consequence for foolish, thoughtless actions has done</p><p>him some good. But he's going to get hurt because of girlfriend's refusal to take responsbility for herself and her child, and he's going to have to watch his child suffer at least to some extent. He may have to leave girlfriend and sue for custody and I think that stress would send him spiraling downward.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 366576, member: 2884"] I know we need to let difficult child 1 and girlfriend work out how to handle this situation. With girlfriend's total lack of initiative and inert approach to things, I can tell that she'll end up staying with her mother - difficult child 1 will have the choice of whether to stay or go, and he's very dependent on girlfriend at the moment - and she'll figure that imitating her mother's methods of raising her will be just fine. I also think she'll have a breakdown and stop working permanently, not that the baby will get better care with her at home. I would be prepared to do some child care ... I just don't think I can turn my back ... but it will be such a mess with the drug-using psycho girlfriend's mother. I guess it has to go one day at a time and I'll check into local services and inquire how the hospital follows up with new parents. One home visit to that apartment and I would hope there would be an ultimatum given to them - no more psycho mother in the household! But we shall see. As I said, I have no confidence that anything would be done. I feel bad for difficult child 1, even though he's been so foolish getting into this situation. He wants to take care of this baby, even though he's apprehensive about whether the baby will be healthy (he worries about passing on his own mental problems, not to mention his mother in law's, and he worries about girlfriend's chain smoking and poor eating habits); he has gotten a job that tires him out and makes him hurt a lot and he's doing it every day no matter what - this is a first for him. So this huge consequence for foolish, thoughtless actions has done him some good. But he's going to get hurt because of girlfriend's refusal to take responsbility for herself and her child, and he's going to have to watch his child suffer at least to some extent. He may have to leave girlfriend and sue for custody and I think that stress would send him spiraling downward. [/QUOTE]
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