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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 132619" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Oh, hon,</p><p> </p><p>This is so hard. It is pretty easy to feel she is just being defiant. I know I felt that about MANY of my son's behaviors. I later learned that it was not totally under his control.</p><p> </p><p>Have you seen a pediatric gastroenterologist (I know, one more doctor visit to fit in, and one more bill. Sigh.)? We have a very very good one. He says that while psychological factors may be part of it, it is rare for that to be all of it. Sometimes the nerves just don't grow the way they should, or at the "normal" rate.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you can get your mom around to the point of not blaming your daughter. That will make it much worse. Same for you and husband. Shame and blame just don't work.</p><p> </p><p>A freind of mine has had similar problems. Her kids jsut could not control it because the signal that they needed to go was not registered in the brain. A good Occupational Therapist might be able to help. Some of what they do helps the brain sort out and use the signals sent by the body.</p><p> </p><p>Would it be at all possible to tell her you have a new plan? and then take a stack of thrift store books, or some favorite toy, or music - whatever she likes, and have you read to her while she is on the toilet? Or play with her, whatever. I only say this because my bro potty trained me. He was about 5 and in school. He would take me in, sit me down and read to me until we ran out of books in the room. It was the ONLY way to get me to sit still. I still razz him about it!</p><p> </p><p>Hugs,</p><p> </p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 132619, member: 1233"] Oh, hon, This is so hard. It is pretty easy to feel she is just being defiant. I know I felt that about MANY of my son's behaviors. I later learned that it was not totally under his control. Have you seen a pediatric gastroenterologist (I know, one more doctor visit to fit in, and one more bill. Sigh.)? We have a very very good one. He says that while psychological factors may be part of it, it is rare for that to be all of it. Sometimes the nerves just don't grow the way they should, or at the "normal" rate. I hope you can get your mom around to the point of not blaming your daughter. That will make it much worse. Same for you and husband. Shame and blame just don't work. A freind of mine has had similar problems. Her kids jsut could not control it because the signal that they needed to go was not registered in the brain. A good Occupational Therapist might be able to help. Some of what they do helps the brain sort out and use the signals sent by the body. Would it be at all possible to tell her you have a new plan? and then take a stack of thrift store books, or some favorite toy, or music - whatever she likes, and have you read to her while she is on the toilet? Or play with her, whatever. I only say this because my bro potty trained me. He was about 5 and in school. He would take me in, sit me down and read to me until we ran out of books in the room. It was the ONLY way to get me to sit still. I still razz him about it! Hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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