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been a heck of a wk
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 15394" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>My thoughts - at least the teacher has the option of quitting.</p><p></p><p>I believe you need to establish ongoing GOOD communication with the school. I've used a book - an ordinary exercise book - which travels in my child's schoolbag. I would write in it just about every morning, mentioning any changes, any behaviour issues that morning or the night before, mentioning if he had slept badly, even.</p><p>The teacher would write in it all the small stuff that normally doesn't get mentioned. Sometimes it was big stuff, but this way I got the details much sooner than I would have otherwise. Each afternoon I would take the book out of the bag and read the entries. I would also note his behaviour each afternoon and if he was upset, angry or subdued, I'd ask him about his day and try to (carefully!) find out what had been happening. The book, plus talking to him, helped me find out a great deal more and find it out almost as soon as things happened. This made it a lot easier to support the school as well when I needed to, and to help reinforce any positive outcome of whatever the school was doing. it also made it possible for them to support what we were doing at home.</p><p></p><p>The end result - it was easier for the school, it was easier for us, PLUS we could see overall behaviour patterns and clues which we otherwise would have missed. The psychiatrist would also look at the communication book and it helped him see what was happening as well.</p><p></p><p>It seems such a small thing but it made a huge difference to us.</p><p></p><p>Once or twice we had a teacher who felt that the book was no longer necessary. We had problems then that escalated seriously, but which eased when we got back to keeping the book up to date.</p><p></p><p>It helps the teachers to vent (and you have to let them - don't get upset with them when they scrawl across the book "WHAT A HORRIBLE CHILD! I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU COPE!!!" because you do know what days like that with your child are like. For every time a teacher has written stuff like that, they also write about good stuff - "He was really good today, I could see it wasn't easy for him but he really tried."</p><p></p><p>When teachers and parents look back through the books (I kept all the copies) you can map their progress. When you're feeling dejected and hopeless, it's good sometimes to see how far he's come.</p><p></p><p>We noticed a umber of patterns in broad as well as fine detail which have helped us with long-term strategies. it also helped teaches to check the books and realise it's not just them - other teachers have had similar problems. Or if they haven't, they go to the other teacher and talk to them about it.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. I do think he's so appalling right now because he's incredibly frustrated and angry. Add in impulsivity and you have fireworks on a major scale. Finding why he's frustrated and helping him reduce it would help, if only you could identify and deal with the problems. Sometimes you can't. But every little bit helps, if you can find the end of the knot to unravel.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 15394, member: 1991"] My thoughts - at least the teacher has the option of quitting. I believe you need to establish ongoing GOOD communication with the school. I've used a book - an ordinary exercise book - which travels in my child's schoolbag. I would write in it just about every morning, mentioning any changes, any behaviour issues that morning or the night before, mentioning if he had slept badly, even. The teacher would write in it all the small stuff that normally doesn't get mentioned. Sometimes it was big stuff, but this way I got the details much sooner than I would have otherwise. Each afternoon I would take the book out of the bag and read the entries. I would also note his behaviour each afternoon and if he was upset, angry or subdued, I'd ask him about his day and try to (carefully!) find out what had been happening. The book, plus talking to him, helped me find out a great deal more and find it out almost as soon as things happened. This made it a lot easier to support the school as well when I needed to, and to help reinforce any positive outcome of whatever the school was doing. it also made it possible for them to support what we were doing at home. The end result - it was easier for the school, it was easier for us, PLUS we could see overall behaviour patterns and clues which we otherwise would have missed. The psychiatrist would also look at the communication book and it helped him see what was happening as well. It seems such a small thing but it made a huge difference to us. Once or twice we had a teacher who felt that the book was no longer necessary. We had problems then that escalated seriously, but which eased when we got back to keeping the book up to date. It helps the teachers to vent (and you have to let them - don't get upset with them when they scrawl across the book "WHAT A HORRIBLE CHILD! I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU COPE!!!" because you do know what days like that with your child are like. For every time a teacher has written stuff like that, they also write about good stuff - "He was really good today, I could see it wasn't easy for him but he really tried." When teachers and parents look back through the books (I kept all the copies) you can map their progress. When you're feeling dejected and hopeless, it's good sometimes to see how far he's come. We noticed a umber of patterns in broad as well as fine detail which have helped us with long-term strategies. it also helped teaches to check the books and realise it's not just them - other teachers have had similar problems. Or if they haven't, they go to the other teacher and talk to them about it. Hang in there. I do think he's so appalling right now because he's incredibly frustrated and angry. Add in impulsivity and you have fireworks on a major scale. Finding why he's frustrated and helping him reduce it would help, if only you could identify and deal with the problems. Sometimes you can't. But every little bit helps, if you can find the end of the knot to unravel. Marg [/QUOTE]
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