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Parent Emeritus
Been a long time...difficult child still breaks my heart
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 627205" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Tess,</p><p></p><p>the rules you put in place for your daughter to live with you are exactly the ones I put in place for my son to live with me when he got out of his first, short stint in jail. 10 pm on work nights (school nights for his brothers) so we could continue to sleep and be healthy and productive in our lives. WAYYYY to onerous for him.--he split after about 3 weeks. IN fact I had a surreal conversation with the woman he then hooked up with (27 year old homeless woman) who tried to explain to me that at his age (20) he shouldn't have a curfew. She said she had moved out of her grandparents house because they couldn't see eye to eye on rules. That just...made me laugh.</p><p></p><p>If you look through my posts all winter long (not that I am recommending that) my theme was anger anger anger being devoured by my anger, with occasional spurts of guilt regret and fear but mostly anger. </p><p></p><p>We all feel where you are. </p><p></p><p>Your ex didn't make her do those things because..ta da!! we cannot make them (or anyone else) do anything. He may have just recognized that before you did.</p><p></p><p>We can't make anyone else do anything. The only thing we can do is manage our own reactions, our own life. YOu are starting to do that. I promise you you will feel better. Not every day, and not all the time...but overall, so much better.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and much support to you.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 627205, member: 17269"] Tess, the rules you put in place for your daughter to live with you are exactly the ones I put in place for my son to live with me when he got out of his first, short stint in jail. 10 pm on work nights (school nights for his brothers) so we could continue to sleep and be healthy and productive in our lives. WAYYYY to onerous for him.--he split after about 3 weeks. IN fact I had a surreal conversation with the woman he then hooked up with (27 year old homeless woman) who tried to explain to me that at his age (20) he shouldn't have a curfew. She said she had moved out of her grandparents house because they couldn't see eye to eye on rules. That just...made me laugh. If you look through my posts all winter long (not that I am recommending that) my theme was anger anger anger being devoured by my anger, with occasional spurts of guilt regret and fear but mostly anger. We all feel where you are. Your ex didn't make her do those things because..ta da!! we cannot make them (or anyone else) do anything. He may have just recognized that before you did. We can't make anyone else do anything. The only thing we can do is manage our own reactions, our own life. YOu are starting to do that. I promise you you will feel better. Not every day, and not all the time...but overall, so much better. Hugs and much support to you. Echo [/QUOTE]
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Been a long time...difficult child still breaks my heart
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