OCmama
New Member
Zach is 6-years old and is in first grade. He was a very easy baby. He was a good sleeper, eater and was not fussy at all. As a toddler he was VERY demanding and he had a very difficult time playing by himself. He had a very hard time transitioning from one activity to the next. He potty trained at 3 years old. He went through a period at the beginning of potty training where he went pee and poop on the toilet with no accidents. Then he got constipated. He did not poop for 9-days. When he finally passed the poop he bleed. That was the end of him pooping in the toilet. He consistently pooped his pants from that point (3-years old) to 5.5 years old. We tried a number of things to help this. It is finally under control but he still has holding issues. I dont know if its relevant or not.
So fast forward to today
Zach has tics that come and go both movements and making sounds. Mostly eye blinking and clearing his throat. He also grips his hands constantly. His behavior at times is horrible, he throws tantrums, has outburst, he has hit me, grandma, babysitter. He says I hate you You are the worse mom in the world You never let me do anything. Then after he has calmed down he feels guilty and cries for what he has done. He wants to please SO bad but his bad behaviors are constantly getting in the way. He tells me that his brain tells him to do bad stuff. I can see that he is just not happy in his own skin. Breaks my heart. He is obsessive about things and relentless in his begging for things and constantly making unreasonable demands and then falls apart when his demands are not met. Once he makes his demand for something if its not handled in a delicate way thats when the tantrum begins. Screaming, kicking, throwing things, name calling, this can last anywhere from 5 mins up to an hour. He is always trying to control everyone around him adults and peers. In situations where there is a lot of people (like Thanksgiving at our house with 25- family members) he falls apart. It is very tricky to parent him. The traditional parenting methods DO NOT work. We have a stable loving home. My husband and I have been married for 8-years, we have another son that is 2-years old, Zach has friends in our neighborhood (although he treats them horribly at times) and loving grandparents.
My objectives are to find out why he struggles so much and help him learn to problem solve and control himself.
Independently perhaps none of these things are out of the ordinary for a 6-year old boy but when you put them all together there is something serious going on and I want to find out what it is!
Our family life/marriage is suffering because we feel defeated by our son. Sometimes I feel like I am in an abusive relationship with my own kid. Its horrible to deal with for us and I cant imagine how horrible it must be for him.
So fast forward to today
Zach has tics that come and go both movements and making sounds. Mostly eye blinking and clearing his throat. He also grips his hands constantly. His behavior at times is horrible, he throws tantrums, has outburst, he has hit me, grandma, babysitter. He says I hate you You are the worse mom in the world You never let me do anything. Then after he has calmed down he feels guilty and cries for what he has done. He wants to please SO bad but his bad behaviors are constantly getting in the way. He tells me that his brain tells him to do bad stuff. I can see that he is just not happy in his own skin. Breaks my heart. He is obsessive about things and relentless in his begging for things and constantly making unreasonable demands and then falls apart when his demands are not met. Once he makes his demand for something if its not handled in a delicate way thats when the tantrum begins. Screaming, kicking, throwing things, name calling, this can last anywhere from 5 mins up to an hour. He is always trying to control everyone around him adults and peers. In situations where there is a lot of people (like Thanksgiving at our house with 25- family members) he falls apart. It is very tricky to parent him. The traditional parenting methods DO NOT work. We have a stable loving home. My husband and I have been married for 8-years, we have another son that is 2-years old, Zach has friends in our neighborhood (although he treats them horribly at times) and loving grandparents.
My objectives are to find out why he struggles so much and help him learn to problem solve and control himself.
Independently perhaps none of these things are out of the ordinary for a 6-year old boy but when you put them all together there is something serious going on and I want to find out what it is!
Our family life/marriage is suffering because we feel defeated by our son. Sometimes I feel like I am in an abusive relationship with my own kid. Its horrible to deal with for us and I cant imagine how horrible it must be for him.