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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 352768" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Take what works for you and leave the rest. We are all just moms <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> I don't believe that authoritative methods work for difficult children. It's not hard to get a "typical" kid to respect you, but a difficult child is wired differently and they don't accept...that can cause rebellion in my opinion. I am not a perfect parent so I don't call out anyone's parenting style, but my grown kids have told me I was too lax <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> They all turned out well, even my difficult child, so when they say it, it is with good nature and I don't take offense, but that is their opinion. On the other hand, again, they all DID turn out well...lol..so I couldn't have done everything wrong. They wish I had grounded them more and not backed down so often (shrug). All's well that ends well, I guess. All parenting styles seem to flounder with difficult children. You know your own child best.</p><p></p><p>My own kid just wouldn't do the chart. He isn't even really that rebellious. He has Aspergers and attention issues and got very bored with it and stopped caring about the consequences and perks very quickly and just refused to do it. I could see right away it wasn't a good idea for him. You'll probably be able to tell early on if it's going to work for you. I certainly wouldn't use a detention center model though. Those are for kids who are on the verge or or already becoming hardcore criminals.</p><p></p><p>One last thing: Remember all of us here have had parenting failures and successes, and we all have different personalities. It goes against my grain to spank or expect any child to listen to a rule without giving them a reason why or a time to talk about it. Others are more comfortable with "I said so" and in my opinion both are fine. If you're comfortable doing it, in my opinion it works better. </p><p></p><p>Good luck <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 352768, member: 1550"] Take what works for you and leave the rest. We are all just moms ;) I don't believe that authoritative methods work for difficult children. It's not hard to get a "typical" kid to respect you, but a difficult child is wired differently and they don't accept...that can cause rebellion in my opinion. I am not a perfect parent so I don't call out anyone's parenting style, but my grown kids have told me I was too lax :) They all turned out well, even my difficult child, so when they say it, it is with good nature and I don't take offense, but that is their opinion. On the other hand, again, they all DID turn out well...lol..so I couldn't have done everything wrong. They wish I had grounded them more and not backed down so often (shrug). All's well that ends well, I guess. All parenting styles seem to flounder with difficult children. You know your own child best. My own kid just wouldn't do the chart. He isn't even really that rebellious. He has Aspergers and attention issues and got very bored with it and stopped caring about the consequences and perks very quickly and just refused to do it. I could see right away it wasn't a good idea for him. You'll probably be able to tell early on if it's going to work for you. I certainly wouldn't use a detention center model though. Those are for kids who are on the verge or or already becoming hardcore criminals. One last thing: Remember all of us here have had parenting failures and successes, and we all have different personalities. It goes against my grain to spank or expect any child to listen to a rule without giving them a reason why or a time to talk about it. Others are more comfortable with "I said so" and in my opinion both are fine. If you're comfortable doing it, in my opinion it works better. Good luck :) [/QUOTE]
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