Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Behavior Contracts & Points Systems
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 352801" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Mamaof5, I see my post got pasted into a reply that you made about possibly offending? I am not at all offended by anything you have written (and I hope I have not offended you). I think it got there by accident but don't want to assume that. I have no idea how your family works so can not judge to what degree this chart will be right for you or not. You have to go with what feels right for you and your difficult child. Find something that will be natural to work with. If it feels good to everyone involved than it will work. If difficult child struggles with the demands of it then it may be more harm then good. There is so much in every day that we can find to fight about with our kids, WE don't need to create more. If the system adds tension in the home then it probably will not be meeting the needs you set out to do. </p><p> </p><p>I would keep the showering part in since you say that he is good in that area and it will give him a positive recognition. </p><p> </p><p>p.s. You may want to reconsider the rebate part. I could see my kids turning it into "I can do whatever I want! Who cares if I get into trouble, I can earn that money back!" I think once they loose the points then that is it. If the system is focusing more on the positive, the negative should be quick and done with, no hassleing about undoing it. Kids need to learn that in life, when you make a mistake it is not easily undone, you can't find a way to undo it. You just avoid that behavior in the future. The rebate will have the focus on the points and not the action that caused the loss.</p><p> </p><p>Coming up with the chart that is best for your family is harder than it looks isn't it? So much to consider. We see the potential positive outcomes quicker than the negative ones. Once you have come up with the chart you think will work the best, look past why you think it will work and try to figure out why it may not work. Lots of people here can help with that because it did not work for their kids. It worked like magic for mine and was a godsend to my difficult child so I do see why people would like to try this route. Every child is different, all you can do is try and I think learning why it did not work for others is good so you can watch for the downfall symptoms for if it starts falling apart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 352801, member: 5096"] Mamaof5, I see my post got pasted into a reply that you made about possibly offending? I am not at all offended by anything you have written (and I hope I have not offended you). I think it got there by accident but don't want to assume that. I have no idea how your family works so can not judge to what degree this chart will be right for you or not. You have to go with what feels right for you and your difficult child. Find something that will be natural to work with. If it feels good to everyone involved than it will work. If difficult child struggles with the demands of it then it may be more harm then good. There is so much in every day that we can find to fight about with our kids, WE don't need to create more. If the system adds tension in the home then it probably will not be meeting the needs you set out to do. I would keep the showering part in since you say that he is good in that area and it will give him a positive recognition. p.s. You may want to reconsider the rebate part. I could see my kids turning it into "I can do whatever I want! Who cares if I get into trouble, I can earn that money back!" I think once they loose the points then that is it. If the system is focusing more on the positive, the negative should be quick and done with, no hassleing about undoing it. Kids need to learn that in life, when you make a mistake it is not easily undone, you can't find a way to undo it. You just avoid that behavior in the future. The rebate will have the focus on the points and not the action that caused the loss. Coming up with the chart that is best for your family is harder than it looks isn't it? So much to consider. We see the potential positive outcomes quicker than the negative ones. Once you have come up with the chart you think will work the best, look past why you think it will work and try to figure out why it may not work. Lots of people here can help with that because it did not work for their kids. It worked like magic for mine and was a godsend to my difficult child so I do see why people would like to try this route. Every child is different, all you can do is try and I think learning why it did not work for others is good so you can watch for the downfall symptoms for if it starts falling apart. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Behavior Contracts & Points Systems
Top