Behavior plan not being followed

[been thru alot]

Hi Everyone, So happy to have found this forum. I really could use your help. I have a 7 yr Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified child. Luckily he is in a nyc private funded school. He is going into 3rd grade. He has been having some behavior problems this last year. Some of which was due to a child bullying him in his class everyday. In December they decided a behavior plan should be put together. THe school pychologist put one together and the report was finally typed up and all set march 2. He had his iep meeting and may and the behavior plan is on there. THe main components are to have special charts for him to look at for appropriate behaviors also a behavior contract for him to sign and a sticker system with daily goals. Seems like my kid has trouble waiting for a weekly reward is he is good so they thought this would work. Little things are also in there like rub his back if they see signs of his stressing to avoid a meltodown. That they do. I ask him do you have stickers or charts? DId anyone have you sign a contract? He has no idea what Im talking about. I call the pychologist and she said well it is a work in progress ,Im tweeking it and we have other changes done to the room itself for my kid. I call again last month same answer making constant changes and more tweeking. My son goes to a cbt as well and he wanted to work with the school as far as the sticker chart . Cant do that. Who would I complain to that they are not following thru? IS it even worth it? My son is in the private school. I went to his school this week because they want me to see his behaviors. He was pretty good actually and not any worse than the kids in his class. I went to search his desk for the stickers and charts and found nothing. Yet the pychologist asked me so what are you doing about medication? I dont want to medicate him until I try everything and at lest see if this behavior plan would work. My son loves his teacher do I just put up with this? Is this normal? His cbt said schools are famous for not starting behavior plans right away. In this case a small section is started and nothing else. Any advice would be so appreciated. Thank you.

 

[TeDo]

First of all, welcome to our little family. You have found a great place with tons of knowledge. Sorry but I need to ask more questions than I give any advice but they will help us give you helpful ideas.

What did they use as a basis for needing a behavior plan if his behaviors were a direct result of bullying? Common sense says that if you deal with the bullying, the behaviors will go away.

After the meeting, did anyone from the IEP team have YOU sign the form saying you agree with the plan as it is written? Did you sign it as is? Did you disagree with any of it? Have they given you a written copy of the plan that was agreed upon at the meeting? If you liked the plan that the team decided on at the meeting AND you sign it as is without any objections, they have a "reasonable amount of time" to implement the plan. The "tweeking" needs to be done with team approval depending on what they are tweeking. Since it seems like it has been more than two months, I would put in writing (keep a copy for yourself) a request for A) the plan to be implemented immediately stating that more than two months is NOT a reasonable amount of time OR B) describe for you in detail why they are not able to implement the plan as agreed upon by the IEP team. Specify an exact date you expect a response but don't give them more that 1 week from the date you "anticipate" they will receive the letter. The other choice is to hand deliver the letter but have BOTH copies signed by the person you gave it to at the school. I would send it certified mail with return receipt requested. You can also contact an advocate to answer some of your questions and to help you personally deal with these issues.

As for them pushing medications, my conversation might sound something like this:
School: "Have you given any more thought to medications for ___________?"
Me: "I MIGHT consider medications if you can show me proof that the behavior plan we decided on isn't working."

Again, welcome.

 

[keista]

Ditto TeDo

Welcome to the board.

And yes, unfortunately it is kind of 'normal' for the schools to take forever to implement things. You have to keep on top of them.

If you haven't already, I'd ask if they are addressing the bullying issue as well. Due to privacy laws they can't tell you what they are doing (essentially it should be a behavior plan for the other child) But they SHOULD be doing SOMETHING. More than once I had to push the schools about bullies. I had to threaten that they would loose ALL MY support on my son's behavior modification if they refused to address the current bully. The problem schools have with bullies is that they are 'subtle'. they generally know how to get around the system and not get caught, whereas our kids will react or retaliate without thinking of the consequences and therefore ALWAYS get 'caught'.

Good luck to you and welcome again.

 

[been thru alot]

Thank you for the feedback. This is a wonderful forum and have spent my morning going over some other pages. I think I signed a form his school pychologist gave me. Not sure. She had a meeting with us to verify that the plan was good. They had done an assessment first. I had no disagreements with the behavior plan it is really good. My son has had issues with a bully luckily the child is aging out and he will be with her for only 2 more weeks. My son is very immature and so I keep waiting for his maturity to catch up. Cries when he loses a game. Screams if he doesnt get his way sometimes. Academically he is doing great and during that time when he is learning is his best time. It is the unstructured time like recess that gets him in trouble. Do you think my sending a letter would be too formal? Would she yell at me? She definately does not realize that I know she has not done his complete behavior plan so I would be surprising her. At his iep meeting they just verified he had a behavior plan in place since it was on there and moved on. Thanks for the help. Starting to feel better.

 

[keista]

Do you think my sending a letter would be too formal? Would she yell at me?

No. The IEP is a legal document. ESPECIALLY if there are problems or issues you want addressed, it MUST be in writing so you have documentation of what has transpired. It may not seem so important or vital now, but it really is. Why else would you be here looking for more help?
and are you REALLY concerned about that? #1 if she yells at you, she is NOT being professional. #2 If she yells at you, she probably yells at the kids too, something's not right and needs to be fixed/addressed. #3 if she yells at you then she has NO concern for your concerns for your child.

I'll go out on a limb to suggst that this just may be your own insecurities. I have similar issues. I'm not concerned ppl will yell at me, but am always concerned if I'm approaching things properly, am I annoying them, am I overstepping my boundaries, etc. Especially if this is your first child in the school system, there is a HUGE learning curve to the ins and outs of how to handle things. I've only got 3 years left to master it with my oldest - don't think I'm gonna make it. lol As long as you approach school staff calmly and out of genuine concern for your child I think you'll be OK.

 

[TeDo]

I think I signed a form his school pychologist gave me. Not sure.

Ask her for a copy of the form you signed AFTER the IEP meeting that states you agree with the proposed plan.

Do you think my sending a letter would be too formal? Would she yell at me?

Putting your requests in writing is very formal but, unfortunately, sometimes very necessary. According to your previous post, you have asked her why they haven't begun utilizing the plan and she has basically put you off. It is time to let her know you are serious about them beginning to use it. Should they continue to put it off, they are out of compliance with the law and you will need the documentation as proof they aren't doing what the law says they have to do. I just went through this for 5 months with my difficult child so I am only relaying my personal experience. You need to put your son first. If you don't get anywhere with this person, go above her head and complain. If she yells, go above her head and complain. Keep very detailed notes of ALL contact with the school. Include dates, times, who you dealt with, what form your contact was in, who said what and what was the outcome. You will come to realize that it won't hurt to keep these records but it could very possibly help you in the future. Many here will testify to that.