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Best friends getting divorced
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 602154" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>We had this happen with a friend/couple who had been married 37 years. I think that it helped us to bear in mind that there is always a great deal of hyperbole involved on both sides, and it's best to remember that no one ever knows what goes on behind closed doors. No one knows your marriage, and you don't know theirs. </p><p></p><p>With our friends L & N, I was supportive of N in a limited way. I'd get her out of the house, go shopping or for lunch, anything to get her from shriveling up to die in the house. In that case, <em>she</em> was the one that asked for a divorce, <em>she </em>was the one who abandoned her vows. I spoke to her husband L and told him that I didn't really care who did what, and that I was sure that there was no way for us to judge them. But, I was N's friend during their marriage, and I was going to do what I could to keep her from going off the edge without ever laying blame at anyone's feet and I hoped that we could remain friends. Given that N had essentially stolen L's best friend after the separation and he was at that point ignoring <em>his </em>wife for N, there was no way for me to gracefully be a close friend to L in this, and he understood how inappropriate it would be for him to hang out with me. husband and I did spend time together with him, but it wasn't the same.</p><p></p><p>L & N were<em> very </em>invested in having more supporters than the other. In the long run, supporting N and being honest with her wasn't enough for her and <em>she</em> dropped me like a hot potato. In understand that she still has issues 3 years later. But I don't feel badly about the way that we handled it. People move on, and she made her choices.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 602154, member: 99"] We had this happen with a friend/couple who had been married 37 years. I think that it helped us to bear in mind that there is always a great deal of hyperbole involved on both sides, and it's best to remember that no one ever knows what goes on behind closed doors. No one knows your marriage, and you don't know theirs. With our friends L & N, I was supportive of N in a limited way. I'd get her out of the house, go shopping or for lunch, anything to get her from shriveling up to die in the house. In that case, [I]she[/I] was the one that asked for a divorce, [I]she [/I]was the one who abandoned her vows. I spoke to her husband L and told him that I didn't really care who did what, and that I was sure that there was no way for us to judge them. But, I was N's friend during their marriage, and I was going to do what I could to keep her from going off the edge without ever laying blame at anyone's feet and I hoped that we could remain friends. Given that N had essentially stolen L's best friend after the separation and he was at that point ignoring [I]his [/I]wife for N, there was no way for me to gracefully be a close friend to L in this, and he understood how inappropriate it would be for him to hang out with me. husband and I did spend time together with him, but it wasn't the same. L & N were[I] very [/I]invested in having more supporters than the other. In the long run, supporting N and being honest with her wasn't enough for her and [I]she[/I] dropped me like a hot potato. In understand that she still has issues 3 years later. But I don't feel badly about the way that we handled it. People move on, and she made her choices. [/QUOTE]
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