Loving Abbey 2
Not really a Newbie
I don't post over here too often and lately I haven't been doing to much replying to other people's posts as difficult child has been in the psychiatric hospital for the first time. Since Thursday she has been on partial and is coming home at night. Maybe this should be in general but I'm not sure.
I am thinking of not allowing my-soon-to-be-ex husband to see difficult child (he's her step father). Our marriage is over due to his verbal and emotionally abusive behavior towards me.
difficult child is in such a fragile state but when ex came to see her last night and that night she was explosive and aggressive. On no other night was she like that--difficult, oppositional, needy, etc--yes, but not explosive and aggressive.
For some time he kept telling difficult child that he and I were going to work things out, no matter how many times I asked him not to. He additionally would argue with me in front of her. When he is inappropriate with her (usually resulting in an arguement or power struggle) I step in and he says that I am being mean to him and that he will just stop coming to see difficult child if I keep acting this way. And he says it in front of difficult child. The weekend before she went into the psychiatric hospital, he set her into a meltdown at the store and then lied about what he said to her. And told her that he didn't say that over and over. Eventually he admitted it but what a messed up thing to do.
In writing at the psychiatric hospital today difficult child has written that she is upset with me because "mom hurt daddy by making him leave" and "mom won't give daddy another chance". These are things that he says to her. When I called ex to discuss the effects of his words on difficult child for about the hundreth time, he says that if I really wanted to do what is best for Abbey than I will reconsider our divorce. He is so self-absorbed and manipulative. I told him I didn't want to speak to him anymore and he called me 7 times and sent 5 or 6 texts.
I don't want to put difficult child through another loss (her father died when she was 2 1/2). But this is ridiculous!!
And to top it off the hampster died today, and I haven't had the heart to tell difficult child yet.
I just don't know what to do. I"m so fed up with the universe....
I am thinking of not allowing my-soon-to-be-ex husband to see difficult child (he's her step father). Our marriage is over due to his verbal and emotionally abusive behavior towards me.
difficult child is in such a fragile state but when ex came to see her last night and that night she was explosive and aggressive. On no other night was she like that--difficult, oppositional, needy, etc--yes, but not explosive and aggressive.
For some time he kept telling difficult child that he and I were going to work things out, no matter how many times I asked him not to. He additionally would argue with me in front of her. When he is inappropriate with her (usually resulting in an arguement or power struggle) I step in and he says that I am being mean to him and that he will just stop coming to see difficult child if I keep acting this way. And he says it in front of difficult child. The weekend before she went into the psychiatric hospital, he set her into a meltdown at the store and then lied about what he said to her. And told her that he didn't say that over and over. Eventually he admitted it but what a messed up thing to do.
In writing at the psychiatric hospital today difficult child has written that she is upset with me because "mom hurt daddy by making him leave" and "mom won't give daddy another chance". These are things that he says to her. When I called ex to discuss the effects of his words on difficult child for about the hundreth time, he says that if I really wanted to do what is best for Abbey than I will reconsider our divorce. He is so self-absorbed and manipulative. I told him I didn't want to speak to him anymore and he called me 7 times and sent 5 or 6 texts.
I don't want to put difficult child through another loss (her father died when she was 2 1/2). But this is ridiculous!!
And to top it off the hampster died today, and I haven't had the heart to tell difficult child yet.
I just don't know what to do. I"m so fed up with the universe....