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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 490307" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>TeDo, I suspect whether you asked or told him to bring his bowl in he would still complain that you made him have to wall all of the thousand miles back to the living room to get it. As we were saying last night, our two just do not fully get cause and effect sometimes and other times it is just the blame mom for everything syndrome. Times like that are not the times to debate it or even feel it. He is really saying: I dont wanna! </p><p></p><p>When the bigger times happen, like when he ends up having a huge consequence or brother gets a privelege he does not get... at a calm time (like the other times you have discussed that work well for him) you can sit and explain it in a way he processes well. Time lines work well for us... using the first/then approach....</p><p></p><p>first this happened then this...</p><p>then this, then this...etc.... to show the connection chain. Then he can re-write it to make it turn out the way he wants it to be. In the end if he goes off the chain, you can ask him where things derailed. </p><p></p><p>I get truly sick of it too. But I know it is his automatic blurting, not coping well, impatience, all about him, not connecting the dots....... Just needs so much coaching. After taking him home yesterday, Q told me it was my fault for showing up. Oh really???? HMMM lets start this one from he beginning...</p><p></p><p>He filled in the blanks well and I told him that part of growing up was realizing when he made a mistake and taking responsiblity. He wants more independence and chances to do things, then he needs to work on his reactions and being willing to let people help him if he is having a hard time figuring it all out. Easier said than done, lol...</p><p></p><p>I think you know it is NOT your fault, you just get tired of it right? Some we have to accept (let it roll off our backs) and some we can coach them through. Just MHO, smile!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 490307, member: 12886"] TeDo, I suspect whether you asked or told him to bring his bowl in he would still complain that you made him have to wall all of the thousand miles back to the living room to get it. As we were saying last night, our two just do not fully get cause and effect sometimes and other times it is just the blame mom for everything syndrome. Times like that are not the times to debate it or even feel it. He is really saying: I dont wanna! When the bigger times happen, like when he ends up having a huge consequence or brother gets a privelege he does not get... at a calm time (like the other times you have discussed that work well for him) you can sit and explain it in a way he processes well. Time lines work well for us... using the first/then approach.... first this happened then this... then this, then this...etc.... to show the connection chain. Then he can re-write it to make it turn out the way he wants it to be. In the end if he goes off the chain, you can ask him where things derailed. I get truly sick of it too. But I know it is his automatic blurting, not coping well, impatience, all about him, not connecting the dots....... Just needs so much coaching. After taking him home yesterday, Q told me it was my fault for showing up. Oh really???? HMMM lets start this one from he beginning... He filled in the blanks well and I told him that part of growing up was realizing when he made a mistake and taking responsiblity. He wants more independence and chances to do things, then he needs to work on his reactions and being willing to let people help him if he is having a hard time figuring it all out. Easier said than done, lol... I think you know it is NOT your fault, you just get tired of it right? Some we have to accept (let it roll off our backs) and some we can coach them through. Just MHO, smile! [/QUOTE]
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