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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 490647"><p>From what a lot of you are saying, I guess I used the wrong scenario as an example. As for the whole bowl thing, I was in a room off the kitchen and <strong>couldn't see him </strong>but could hear him walking that direction so <strong>I was just asking </strong>if he had it. I had no idea if he did or didn't. That's why I asked.</p><p> </p><p>What susiestar said IS how I would have handled the situation IF I had known he didn't have the bowl in his hand but I had no clue if he did or didn't. I DO give directions as statements and both difficult children know they are expected to follow my directions and they also know that I follow through with consequences. Those are never the issue. The issue is that everything is somehow always "twisted" in such a way that everything is my fault and he is always the innocent. </p><p></p><p>It is funny how the intended focus of my examples was difficult child 1's responses but most people that responded put the focus on what I did to "cause" the response. Thank you Flutterby for noticing what I was feeling. And yes, Buddy, it wouldn't have mattered in this case or any other, how it was phrased to difficult child 1. The response is ALWAYS the same and THAT was the intended purpose of the thread.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 490647"] From what a lot of you are saying, I guess I used the wrong scenario as an example. As for the whole bowl thing, I was in a room off the kitchen and [B]couldn't see him [/B]but could hear him walking that direction so [B]I was just asking [/B]if he had it. I had no idea if he did or didn't. That's why I asked. What susiestar said IS how I would have handled the situation IF I had known he didn't have the bowl in his hand but I had no clue if he did or didn't. I DO give directions as statements and both difficult children know they are expected to follow my directions and they also know that I follow through with consequences. Those are never the issue. The issue is that everything is somehow always "twisted" in such a way that everything is my fault and he is always the innocent. It is funny how the intended focus of my examples was difficult child 1's responses but most people that responded put the focus on what I did to "cause" the response. Thank you Flutterby for noticing what I was feeling. And yes, Buddy, it wouldn't have mattered in this case or any other, how it was phrased to difficult child 1. The response is ALWAYS the same and THAT was the intended purpose of the thread. [/QUOTE]
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