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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 354172" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p>No, Katya, he doesn't get to dictate how you react. You are entitled to your feelings and entitled to express them - especially in your own home. Period. If he doesn't like it, then he can find somewhere else to stay. At his age, staying at home is a privilege, not a right. </p><p></p><p>I don't mean to sound harsh or abrupt, but I was already angry over what he said to you and that last "rule" pushed me over the edge. </p><p></p><p>My easy child is 18 and just a month or so ago when he decided to be really nasty to me, I told him that if he really felt that way, he needed to leave. He said "No, I'm not. I don't have anywhere to go." And I let him know that I could evict him. That shocked the socks off him, to say the least. I will not be treated like that by my child (or anyone else, for that matter) in my home after everything I have done for him/her. It would be different if I had deserved it. I had not. And neither have you. I would lay my life down for my children, but I will not stand by and be treated badly them. (My easy child has struggled with depression/anxiety, too, since he was 10 - his is the kind that comes out as anger, and it sounds the same with your son.)</p><p></p><p>As an aside, I was diagnosed with Borderline (BPD) 8 years ago when I was going through a severe depression bordering on psychosis. Once I got through that, I no longer fit the criteria. So, it is possible that it is depression that is looking like Borderline (BPD) as much as it's possible that he has Borderline (BPD). In fact my daughter who has severe anxiety/panic disorder has been diagnosed with Borderline (BPD) (among other PD's), but now that she's been stable the last couple of weeks since her hospitalization and on new medications, I'm not seeing Borderline (BPD) traits. I'm not ready to say yet that she isn't Borderline, but I'm starting to wonder how much was the other stuff which was causing her to lash out, Know what I mean??</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 354172, member: 7083"] No, Katya, he doesn't get to dictate how you react. You are entitled to your feelings and entitled to express them - especially in your own home. Period. If he doesn't like it, then he can find somewhere else to stay. At his age, staying at home is a privilege, not a right. I don't mean to sound harsh or abrupt, but I was already angry over what he said to you and that last "rule" pushed me over the edge. My easy child is 18 and just a month or so ago when he decided to be really nasty to me, I told him that if he really felt that way, he needed to leave. He said "No, I'm not. I don't have anywhere to go." And I let him know that I could evict him. That shocked the socks off him, to say the least. I will not be treated like that by my child (or anyone else, for that matter) in my home after everything I have done for him/her. It would be different if I had deserved it. I had not. And neither have you. I would lay my life down for my children, but I will not stand by and be treated badly them. (My easy child has struggled with depression/anxiety, too, since he was 10 - his is the kind that comes out as anger, and it sounds the same with your son.) As an aside, I was diagnosed with Borderline (BPD) 8 years ago when I was going through a severe depression bordering on psychosis. Once I got through that, I no longer fit the criteria. So, it is possible that it is depression that is looking like Borderline (BPD) as much as it's possible that he has Borderline (BPD). In fact my daughter who has severe anxiety/panic disorder has been diagnosed with Borderline (BPD) (among other PD's), but now that she's been stable the last couple of weeks since her hospitalization and on new medications, I'm not seeing Borderline (BPD) traits. I'm not ready to say yet that she isn't Borderline, but I'm starting to wonder how much was the other stuff which was causing her to lash out, Know what I mean?? [/QUOTE]
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