Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Blindsided
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 354177" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Katya, I think easy child 2's status needs to be changed to a difficult child status. Seriously, he has some big time issues. And honestly, while he is laying the blame at your feet and everyone elses, they are <em><strong>HIS</strong></em> issues, not yours.</p><p></p><p>I understand religion, especially religion with firm beliefs. (actually yours sounds pleasant, I sort of like how it is based) My mother is a religious fanatic, seriously, to the Nth degree and then some. I don't mean she is faithful or devout. Fanatic. There is a difference.</p><p></p><p>And it wasn't a pleasant environment to grow up in, let me assure you. So much so that it has turned me away from organized religion completely. </p><p></p><p>BUT it did not turn me away from my mother. Even though my mother is fanatical, the two things aren't meshed together. She is my mother. Religion is religion. Yes, growing up I was forced to follow her beliefs. Guess what? <strong>That's what parents do.</strong> As an adult she has continued to attempt to cram her brand of religion down my throat. It doesn't work because I choose not to live my life that way. Simple. My choice. She doesn't like it. She has learned to accept it. (and now only bugs me about it once in a while which I respectfully ignore lol)</p><p></p><p>My children weren't raised with organized religion, however they were exposed to it from time to time. I have nothing against it really, I just can't be comfortable with it. They were raised with different beliefs. Nichole has started attending a local church. She's reading the bible. Her choice. I don't have a problem with it, unless she would go to the extreme, but even then....that would be HER choice.</p><p></p><p>Obviously easy child has issues with the church he was raised in. Fine. He needs to deal with that himself. It has nothing to do with you or husband. That is between him, the church, and God.</p><p></p><p>My point is.......easy child is trying to make you feel guilty over something you've no reason to feel guilty over. He needs to get over himself in a big way. And if you allow yourself to feel guilt over something you've no reason to feel guilty for.....you're going to feed into this notion of his, whatever the heck it is and it's just going to get uglier. Because if your NOT guilty.....then why do you feel so bad? (a difficult child's logic, I've spent 20 yrs with Nichole)</p><p></p><p>You parented your kids the best you knew how. You were given one with special needs and you did the best you could. Period. No excuses. That's just the way it is. If he's so traumatized by the abuse suffered by difficult child then he needs to stop whining about it and go work it out with a therapist. It is not your problem, you can't fix it. That is between him and difficult child. Period. If he feels neglected because you had to spend more time with difficult child......well sorry bud my violin is broken and in the shop.<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /></p><p></p><p>I don't know how this boy got such an over inflated EGO, but his needs someone to pop his balloon. Life is not fair. Life is not always what we want it to be. He might as well get used to it, because he's got a loooong way to go yet.</p><p></p><p>My easy child was in her teens when she pulled the Poor pity me I'm living with difficult children and get no attention routine. She found out fast that it doesn't wash with me. She snapped out of it fast and I've never heard even a hint of that attitude again.</p><p></p><p>Your easy child is grown and acting like a spoiled 10 yr old having a major temper tantrum. Like I tell Nichole, he obviously has some serious anger issues going on. HE needs to deal with them, not try to throw them onto to other people to make himself feel better. And if he is borderline.......if you play into these behaviors and manipulations.....oh Nelly are you in for one heck of a ride!! Experience talking.</p><p></p><p>My guess, from his saying he was just going to drop this on you like a bomb after graduation and then walk away forever.............He thinks you're going to attack him because of his homosexually. In his mind (for whatever reason) he firmly believes you'll never accept it or him. And his doing his utter best to reject YOU before you get the chance to do it to him first.</p><p></p><p>Wow. I <strong><em>have</em></strong> lived with Nichole too long. sigh. This sort of thinking is starting to make sense to me. ugh</p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 354177, member: 84"] Katya, I think easy child 2's status needs to be changed to a difficult child status. Seriously, he has some big time issues. And honestly, while he is laying the blame at your feet and everyone elses, they are [I][B]HIS[/B][/I] issues, not yours. I understand religion, especially religion with firm beliefs. (actually yours sounds pleasant, I sort of like how it is based) My mother is a religious fanatic, seriously, to the Nth degree and then some. I don't mean she is faithful or devout. Fanatic. There is a difference. And it wasn't a pleasant environment to grow up in, let me assure you. So much so that it has turned me away from organized religion completely. BUT it did not turn me away from my mother. Even though my mother is fanatical, the two things aren't meshed together. She is my mother. Religion is religion. Yes, growing up I was forced to follow her beliefs. Guess what? [B]That's what parents do.[/B] As an adult she has continued to attempt to cram her brand of religion down my throat. It doesn't work because I choose not to live my life that way. Simple. My choice. She doesn't like it. She has learned to accept it. (and now only bugs me about it once in a while which I respectfully ignore lol) My children weren't raised with organized religion, however they were exposed to it from time to time. I have nothing against it really, I just can't be comfortable with it. They were raised with different beliefs. Nichole has started attending a local church. She's reading the bible. Her choice. I don't have a problem with it, unless she would go to the extreme, but even then....that would be HER choice. Obviously easy child has issues with the church he was raised in. Fine. He needs to deal with that himself. It has nothing to do with you or husband. That is between him, the church, and God. My point is.......easy child is trying to make you feel guilty over something you've no reason to feel guilty over. He needs to get over himself in a big way. And if you allow yourself to feel guilt over something you've no reason to feel guilty for.....you're going to feed into this notion of his, whatever the heck it is and it's just going to get uglier. Because if your NOT guilty.....then why do you feel so bad? (a difficult child's logic, I've spent 20 yrs with Nichole) You parented your kids the best you knew how. You were given one with special needs and you did the best you could. Period. No excuses. That's just the way it is. If he's so traumatized by the abuse suffered by difficult child then he needs to stop whining about it and go work it out with a therapist. It is not your problem, you can't fix it. That is between him and difficult child. Period. If he feels neglected because you had to spend more time with difficult child......well sorry bud my violin is broken and in the shop.:angry: I don't know how this boy got such an over inflated EGO, but his needs someone to pop his balloon. Life is not fair. Life is not always what we want it to be. He might as well get used to it, because he's got a loooong way to go yet. My easy child was in her teens when she pulled the Poor pity me I'm living with difficult children and get no attention routine. She found out fast that it doesn't wash with me. She snapped out of it fast and I've never heard even a hint of that attitude again. Your easy child is grown and acting like a spoiled 10 yr old having a major temper tantrum. Like I tell Nichole, he obviously has some serious anger issues going on. HE needs to deal with them, not try to throw them onto to other people to make himself feel better. And if he is borderline.......if you play into these behaviors and manipulations.....oh Nelly are you in for one heck of a ride!! Experience talking. My guess, from his saying he was just going to drop this on you like a bomb after graduation and then walk away forever.............He thinks you're going to attack him because of his homosexually. In his mind (for whatever reason) he firmly believes you'll never accept it or him. And his doing his utter best to reject YOU before you get the chance to do it to him first. Wow. I [B][I]have[/I][/B] lived with Nichole too long. sigh. This sort of thinking is starting to make sense to me. ugh (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Blindsided
Top