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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 354188" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">Will he be mailing his letters to his siblings? If so, is there any way you can intercept their receiving these letters? I would be inclined to intercept the letters so that you can preface them...let them know that if they want to talk about the content of the letters, you can be there to discuss...perhaps even say how alarmed you are by this 'assault' by easy child. </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">I bounced this off my H and his first words were, "So what? He disagrees with his religious upbringing...find me a person who doesn't! Her son needs to get over it. His life is his life - how he chooses to live it, authentically, is up to him. There is no one to take any blame for his own shortcomings. We all have a cross to bear and we all have issues from our upbringing that we need to deal (or not deal) with in our adult lives. How we choose to deal (or not deal) with them is up to us." </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">I will admit, at first I thought it sounded like a form of denial, but I have to agree. Your son has issues that he feels he is struggling with. What goal is he working towards in blaming you or H or the rest of the family? How is lashing out at any one of you going to help his ultimate goal of being a better person? </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">This is difficult, I know, but you really need to to try and put this into a perspective that it's HIM not you, not H, not difficult child or your not being available to easy child during difficult times in his life. My God, what parent is able to be everything to every child at every moment? </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslateblue">It's unfortunate that your easy child has decided to express his disappointments in this manner. I still feel that you need to lean on your H, even if it means a breach of confidence with easy child. Your H is your confidante. He's your person - the one you go to. Someone said something about easy child being a stranger and what would you do? You would go to H with this hurt and pain. This is no different. And I also agree that easy child can now be classified as a difficult child for now. He has issues he needs to work out and as a young adult, it's his job to do so.</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 354188, member: 2211"] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]Will he be mailing his letters to his siblings? If so, is there any way you can intercept their receiving these letters? I would be inclined to intercept the letters so that you can preface them...let them know that if they want to talk about the content of the letters, you can be there to discuss...perhaps even say how alarmed you are by this 'assault' by easy child. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]I bounced this off my H and his first words were, "So what? He disagrees with his religious upbringing...find me a person who doesn't! Her son needs to get over it. His life is his life - how he chooses to live it, authentically, is up to him. There is no one to take any blame for his own shortcomings. We all have a cross to bear and we all have issues from our upbringing that we need to deal (or not deal) with in our adult lives. How we choose to deal (or not deal) with them is up to us." [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]I will admit, at first I thought it sounded like a form of denial, but I have to agree. Your son has issues that he feels he is struggling with. What goal is he working towards in blaming you or H or the rest of the family? How is lashing out at any one of you going to help his ultimate goal of being a better person? [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]This is difficult, I know, but you really need to to try and put this into a perspective that it's HIM not you, not H, not difficult child or your not being available to easy child during difficult times in his life. My God, what parent is able to be everything to every child at every moment? [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslateblue]It's unfortunate that your easy child has decided to express his disappointments in this manner. I still feel that you need to lean on your H, even if it means a breach of confidence with easy child. Your H is your confidante. He's your person - the one you go to. Someone said something about easy child being a stranger and what would you do? You would go to H with this hurt and pain. This is no different. And I also agree that easy child can now be classified as a difficult child for now. He has issues he needs to work out and as a young adult, it's his job to do so.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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