Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
boarding school
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 222749" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Hi Jenn.</p><p>***</p><p>I haven't read all the replies yet, so forgive me if I'm repeating anything (or way off base, either is possible), but... I'm not sure I'd be looking at boarding school just yet. I understand you are disgusted, angry, hurt, betrayed, etc, by the choice she made; however, frankly, that's what teens do. They spread their wings and test the waters and push the limits.</p><p>***</p><p>I think the best thing you can do is let her know you've lost trust in her - but don't toss her out as a person. Make her regain that trust (maybe the phone needs to go for a while, too). And as much as you don't want to "live in a prison", well....sometimes you have to. We dragged difficult child along with us until he was 18 because we couldn't leave him home alone. It hoovered, but it kept him out of trouble, and I figure it was just the chance I took when I had kids (tho wasn't a chance I even remotely thought about way back then...)</p><p>***</p><p>I knew a guy in high school. His name was Joe. Nicest kid you ever met. Valedictorian. SUPER-SMART. Marching band leader. Got a FULL RIDE to MIT. He was a model student, model citizen, model child. He was very interested in school, he had fairly strict parents, and his "compliance factor" was high, so he never pushed the limits with them.</p><p>***</p><p>Until he went to MIT. He had basically lived in a bubble until then, and when he got there, he was so unprepared for life.</p><p>***</p><p>He got 2 girls pregnant and drank himself out of a his full scholarship by the middle of the second semester.</p><p>***</p><p>While teens and their choices are so hard to deal with, this is the time that they are practicing to be adults. Emphasis on practice. They are gonna screw up; just hope they do while you're still their to cushion the fall, evaluate what went wrong, and point out a new/different path. As adults, they aren't always going to make the decisions we wish they would; just as you and your parents differ, and me and my parents differ, so will you and your daughter. While I don't think this is one of those "step back" moments, it is something to keep in mind. Total compliance isn't always the best thing, either.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 222749, member: 1848"] Hi Jenn. *** I haven't read all the replies yet, so forgive me if I'm repeating anything (or way off base, either is possible), but... I'm not sure I'd be looking at boarding school just yet. I understand you are disgusted, angry, hurt, betrayed, etc, by the choice she made; however, frankly, that's what teens do. They spread their wings and test the waters and push the limits. *** I think the best thing you can do is let her know you've lost trust in her - but don't toss her out as a person. Make her regain that trust (maybe the phone needs to go for a while, too). And as much as you don't want to "live in a prison", well....sometimes you have to. We dragged difficult child along with us until he was 18 because we couldn't leave him home alone. It hoovered, but it kept him out of trouble, and I figure it was just the chance I took when I had kids (tho wasn't a chance I even remotely thought about way back then...) *** I knew a guy in high school. His name was Joe. Nicest kid you ever met. Valedictorian. SUPER-SMART. Marching band leader. Got a FULL RIDE to MIT. He was a model student, model citizen, model child. He was very interested in school, he had fairly strict parents, and his "compliance factor" was high, so he never pushed the limits with them. *** Until he went to MIT. He had basically lived in a bubble until then, and when he got there, he was so unprepared for life. *** He got 2 girls pregnant and drank himself out of a his full scholarship by the middle of the second semester. *** While teens and their choices are so hard to deal with, this is the time that they are practicing to be adults. Emphasis on practice. They are gonna screw up; just hope they do while you're still their to cushion the fall, evaluate what went wrong, and point out a new/different path. As adults, they aren't always going to make the decisions we wish they would; just as you and your parents differ, and me and my parents differ, so will you and your daughter. While I don't think this is one of those "step back" moments, it is something to keep in mind. Total compliance isn't always the best thing, either. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
boarding school
Top