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<blockquote data-quote="Hopeful97" data-source="post: 674945" data-attributes="member: 19678"><p>Wow! Manipulation, mental illness something else or a combination of things not sure. Got me thinking then found out more and now feeling sad, empty, numb and more resolved that I am doing the right thing. Here is what happened. Encounter with Difficult Child yesterday. Difficult Child walking past house yesterday I was outside with 1st born. I was not going to say anything, Difficult Child looks our way I we wave, Difficult Child stops asks 1st born for a ride and asks me for food. I get him a can of fruit, I try 1 more time. I tell Difficult Child all about place I found for teens where he could live for up to 2 years get GED job training. They help find a job and have program to help get apartment, etc. Difficult Child responds I am not going to a shelter. Difficult Child tells me that local police stopped him told him we and all department know that your parents have restraining order and if they see him within 500 feet of house whether order is in affect or not they will arrest him. THIS IS A GOODS THING, YES! Thank you local police.</p><p></p><p>Difficult Child had asked hubby if we were getting him Christmas present hubby said yes. Difficult Child tells me he needs present because he needs 50 to be able to stay with friend for 1 month (I am thinking yeah whatever) I tell Difficult Child we were giving him 25 he starts you are not going to see me for Christmas..... you won't help me......I go inside. Christmas present is compromise between me amd hubby. Difficult Child calls later, we do not answer he pleading on answering machine to please pick up. I answer he wants a ride I say sorry no. He starts in with if you cared etc....I hang up. </p><p></p><p>Later that night 1st born shows me and hubby post Difficult Child put on Facebook here it is:</p><p>" I failed to realize I had a loveing family till I pushed them away or scared them off I regreat every bad thing I said or did too them .. I would still die just to see them happy or smile if I had to it's a hard time for all of us and I gotta stay strong and make my family proud and my grandpa.. I'd do anything just to have another week with my grandpa he taught me so much and it's time I used it. And I hope one day to be able to sit down wit him and talk about good things time I got my life on track ‼‼‼‼‼ "</p><p></p><p>I think we'll this could be manipulation, mental illness, beginnings of change or something else. Hubby thinks maybe he is starting to get it.</p><p></p><p>I then go to Difficult Child s page and see post from 1 hour before: it's a picture that says "the realist on your team is your mom. She been there through everything. No matter who left she was and always will be there 100". Then Difficult Child comments above that picture of the saying "Ha... if only this were true"</p><p></p><p>Wow, I see no change. Maybe it is mental illness maybe manipulation. Well regardless Difficult Child needs help refuses there is nothing more to do. I am not giving up hope there is nothing more I can do. It seems like the closer Christmas gets the harder it is getting. Maybe it's just me. I am thankful for the callous that has formed over my heart because it is somewhat protected. Normally all of this would have set everything spinning. Hubby and 1st born said maybe he is changing, he thought about things and posted about messing up. I just say those are just words and look at what he posted just an hour before - Difficult Child can do something about his situation put action to those words and show me you are trying and making progress. That is not happening which shows me there is no change.</p><p></p><p>Continuing to stand strong. I have a sponsor in ALA Non, another blessing from this site. Thank you for encouragement to go to Ala non, I have been going 2 times a week and it helps to, my toolbox is growing.</p><p></p><p>You all on this site help me stay a strong warrior mom. Thank you for your feedback, listening, caring and prayers. </p><p></p><p>Well off to mom's for our annual baking frenzy for Christmas goodies. 2 days of baking. I am going to have a blast.</p><p></p><p>Hugs, Hopeful</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hopeful97, post: 674945, member: 19678"] Wow! Manipulation, mental illness something else or a combination of things not sure. Got me thinking then found out more and now feeling sad, empty, numb and more resolved that I am doing the right thing. Here is what happened. Encounter with Difficult Child yesterday. Difficult Child walking past house yesterday I was outside with 1st born. I was not going to say anything, Difficult Child looks our way I we wave, Difficult Child stops asks 1st born for a ride and asks me for food. I get him a can of fruit, I try 1 more time. I tell Difficult Child all about place I found for teens where he could live for up to 2 years get GED job training. They help find a job and have program to help get apartment, etc. Difficult Child responds I am not going to a shelter. Difficult Child tells me that local police stopped him told him we and all department know that your parents have restraining order and if they see him within 500 feet of house whether order is in affect or not they will arrest him. THIS IS A GOODS THING, YES! Thank you local police. Difficult Child had asked hubby if we were getting him Christmas present hubby said yes. Difficult Child tells me he needs present because he needs 50 to be able to stay with friend for 1 month (I am thinking yeah whatever) I tell Difficult Child we were giving him 25 he starts you are not going to see me for Christmas..... you won't help me......I go inside. Christmas present is compromise between me amd hubby. Difficult Child calls later, we do not answer he pleading on answering machine to please pick up. I answer he wants a ride I say sorry no. He starts in with if you cared etc....I hang up. Later that night 1st born shows me and hubby post Difficult Child put on Facebook here it is: " I failed to realize I had a loveing family till I pushed them away or scared them off I regreat every bad thing I said or did too them .. I would still die just to see them happy or smile if I had to it's a hard time for all of us and I gotta stay strong and make my family proud and my grandpa.. I'd do anything just to have another week with my grandpa he taught me so much and it's time I used it. And I hope one day to be able to sit down wit him and talk about good things time I got my life on track ‼‼‼‼‼ " I think we'll this could be manipulation, mental illness, beginnings of change or something else. Hubby thinks maybe he is starting to get it. I then go to Difficult Child s page and see post from 1 hour before: it's a picture that says "the realist on your team is your mom. She been there through everything. No matter who left she was and always will be there 100". Then Difficult Child comments above that picture of the saying "Ha... if only this were true" Wow, I see no change. Maybe it is mental illness maybe manipulation. Well regardless Difficult Child needs help refuses there is nothing more to do. I am not giving up hope there is nothing more I can do. It seems like the closer Christmas gets the harder it is getting. Maybe it's just me. I am thankful for the callous that has formed over my heart because it is somewhat protected. Normally all of this would have set everything spinning. Hubby and 1st born said maybe he is changing, he thought about things and posted about messing up. I just say those are just words and look at what he posted just an hour before - Difficult Child can do something about his situation put action to those words and show me you are trying and making progress. That is not happening which shows me there is no change. Continuing to stand strong. I have a sponsor in ALA Non, another blessing from this site. Thank you for encouragement to go to Ala non, I have been going 2 times a week and it helps to, my toolbox is growing. You all on this site help me stay a strong warrior mom. Thank you for your feedback, listening, caring and prayers. Well off to mom's for our annual baking frenzy for Christmas goodies. 2 days of baking. I am going to have a blast. Hugs, Hopeful [/QUOTE]
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