Bug - the 16 year old who is driving me nuts!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by dstc_99, May 31, 2016.

  1. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    What do you do with a 16 year old child who is a good kid but is lazy as you know what? Her only issues are not picking up after herself and lousy school effort in math in particular. She fluctuates between a C and an F and in general she is completely lost. The doctor put her on Zoloft and BC pills but no real changes are being seen. She has a math teacher who is willing to assist her more than I ever would. On the other hand they have had a intern teacher for this last few weeks and everyone (according to Bug) has been having a really rough time. The regular teacher even told us at the last parent teacher conference that this was the hardest term.

    Right now I have told her that if the math grade for this term is not a C or above she will only be able to drive for her job. She will have to share a car and no out driving around for fun. Her current grade is an F but her teacher lets them re-take, re-do, and basically fix a grade as long as they do the work.

    Oh yeah and as usual she is still finding friends with more issues than I can count. If another one of them runs away I may just lose my mind! Every single one has issues she feels the need to fuss and crab and cry over1

    So the question is what do I do? Is this just normal teenage crap?
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately, yes, part of it is "normal female teenager crap". But only part. And it's really hard to tell sometimes where "normal crap" ends and "difficult child crap" begins.
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Yeah, sorry, it does sound like "normal female teenager crap." And it IS hard to tell when it's crossed over into "difficult child crap." Miss KT was a serious drama queen. If we didn't happen to have any going on at home (which rarely happened), she'd find something at school and travel around with it, always managing to bring it home to me. Several examples come to mind. Her dyed red hair, that the school called purple and therefore out of dress code, took me two days to fix. Wiping out the entire side of the pickup at the gas station when she hit the concrete barriers and kept driving forward. Selling the city bus pass because she didn't want to ride the bus with the "losers," and then was beyond shocked when she had to walk the 2.4 miles to school and back. Flipping off the band director as they were preparing to play for graduation. Yeah.
  4. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Thanks - I am trying to be patient but honestly we have had at least 10 colors of hair, a foster child she brought home for me, two friends that have run away, grades are always up and down, lazy as a sloth, and the best yet was the bi-sexual friend who would threaten to kill herself if Bug didn't talk to her.

    Seems like every time I get one thing fixed something else gets screwed up. It feels like teenager drama but after Tay and her drama I may be a little hypersensitive. :)
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I've raised two teen girls and think she is out there in regards to drama, but still think she is normal. Just emotional and perhaps a creative kid?/is she talented in arts?
  6. Roxona

    Roxona Active Member

    I think a lot of this is normal teen stuff. In a way, she sounds a lot like J. He was always bringing home strays (friends who were having a hard time at home or were runaways) for me to take care of. I eventually had to tell him he could no longer bring anyone home, and that this hostel was closed! J has a good heart and it seems to me like he feels like he needs to solve other people's problems. I think it makes him feel better about himself. He has very little self esteem. Maybe this is the same for your daughter?
  7. MommaK

    MommaK Member

    Oh my goodness... daughter is 14 and I could write a book on the kids that have come home with her, the drama she and they create, and the general craziness of everything that has surrounded her the last couple years. Daughter has told us she thrives on chaos and drama and if there isn't any she will create it. She has also told us she is jealous of anyone getting my attention and she doesn't care what she has to do to get my attention. Since completely removing her cell phone its calmed down and she is seeing how much crazy drama her "friends" caused her and how much more calm it is and easy to handle the issues she is learning to handle with her bipolar. We are a few weeks into taking a mood stabilizer and I am seeing her anger and angry outbursts stabilizing and calming down.
  8. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Yep she spends more time on Youtube learning how to do makeup than I can imagine! She's awesome at it and even did Tay's makeup for her wedding party and mine for several formal events. She's also a big reader.

    Yes! Yes! Yes! OMG YES! I think she only feels good when she is helping people.

    I took a test on Character Strengths not long ago and part of the goal was to recognize your strengths, the other part was to recognize when those strengths can become negatives. Like when they are overused or abused - she is extremely kind and people abuse it greatly!
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ducts, that could be why.

    My oldest daughter is very creative and went to school for Cosmetology then Pastry Chef. Every day, while in cosmetology school, her hair changed color. One July 4th it was red, white and blue lol. She loved to do Jumpers hair and nails even when Jumper was too little to care. She also developed a liking for tattooes and body piercings (she has since lost the piercings).

    I think artsy people are more dramatic and non conventional and that is actually part of what makes them cool people :) I love people like your daughter. She sounds great!
  10. MommaK

    MommaK Member

    Well that explains a lot about my daughter. She is very creative. Always painting, drawing, hair, makeup, playing ukele, dancing and such. She just ask to have 2nd holes put in her ear and the top of one pierced. She also wants to color the tips of her blonde hair and at 14 is planning the tattoo she wants as soon as she is 18.
  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    The summer between Miss KT's junior and senior year of high school, she and her friend B were hanging around, all bored, wanting something fun to do. Since I'm not Barnum & Bailey, I told them to go out front and paint the fence. They did. With stick figures, polka dots, ice cream cones, rainbows, sunshine...
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