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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 392166" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Two thoughts here.</p><p></p><p>1) To what extent is this self-sabotage? The way he worded his call to you makes it seem like he's (at some level) done this deliberately. Either it's to test how far he has to go before you will say, "Enough!" or it's a sort of "I am bad, I don't deserve anything and I will prove it to everybody including myself." </p><p></p><p>2) Thanksgiving. Birthday. Christmas. Any other festival day. They are just days, a sort of 24 hours like any other. But sometimes for a difficult child, the level of expectation (behaviour form them as well as all the excitement, the visits, the challenges) are just too much and what they need, is just another 24 hour day. And yes, they will sabotage in order to get as close as possible back to a quiet place. They at some level prefer the sameness of each day, rather than having to put up with the challenges of lots of people, lots of food, lots of excitement. If asked they will say that of course they like the fun of family times, but underneath it all, the challenge can sometimes be too much.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 392166, member: 1991"] Two thoughts here. 1) To what extent is this self-sabotage? The way he worded his call to you makes it seem like he's (at some level) done this deliberately. Either it's to test how far he has to go before you will say, "Enough!" or it's a sort of "I am bad, I don't deserve anything and I will prove it to everybody including myself." 2) Thanksgiving. Birthday. Christmas. Any other festival day. They are just days, a sort of 24 hours like any other. But sometimes for a difficult child, the level of expectation (behaviour form them as well as all the excitement, the visits, the challenges) are just too much and what they need, is just another 24 hour day. And yes, they will sabotage in order to get as close as possible back to a quiet place. They at some level prefer the sameness of each day, rather than having to put up with the challenges of lots of people, lots of food, lots of excitement. If asked they will say that of course they like the fun of family times, but underneath it all, the challenge can sometimes be too much. Marg [/QUOTE]
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