Can he really be this dense?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mstang67chic, Jul 2, 2008.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    I mentioned in my post about difficult child having no shame that I think something else is going on with him. He just asked me something and it's somewhat along the lines of why I think this. Not a perfect example but you should get the idea.

    The windows in the house are all open and the birds outside are having a good old time. There's one in particular that you can hear (no idea what kind it is but you would all recognize it if you heard it). difficult child asks me what the sound is. Um, what sound? (Tv is on, dogs moving around, birds chirping, traffic.....take your pick) He said "the bird". Me -'s a bird. difficult child - Oh, ok.


    These types of things happen with him all the time. No one can have that little common sense, can they?
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I dunno, but my 2 difficult child's are like this.

    The easy child's aren't.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Maybe he can't express himself well. My son is like that. He probably meant for the question to come out differently. Maybe he wanted to ask, "What kind of bird is that?"
  4. Christy

    Christy New Member

    MM's idea seems like a good one.

    My son has a habit of stating the obvious. Like, "Look mom there's a red car." I'm waiting for him to elaborate on why this is note worthy and there isn't anything else. If I don't acknowledge that "yes, it is a red car," he will repeat himself over and over again.
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Another vote for poor language skills. I know I will ask what seems like a stupid question sometimes. It makes perfect sense to me but it doesn't come out quite right -- part of what my mind is thinking doesn't hit my vocal cords. So, rather than asking what kind of bird is singing the loudest, I'm apt to ask, "Is that a bird singing?" So, it may not be a denseness but rather a language processing skill.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hmm. I'd have to agree.
    But my poor difficult child gets info overload from me. He's always sorry he asked. In this case, I would have said, "It's a bird, and I have a birdcall CD and a book of photos to go with-it. Let's listen to it."
    He'd probably want to brain me at that point.
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like Miss KT...let's state the obvious. Hubby does it, too. Must be a difficult child thing. It drives me nuts, though.
  8. SaraT

    SaraT New Member

    No, I'd have to say its a kid thing. Both difficult child and the 2 easy child's do the same thing all the time.
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    He's 18, not a kid. I think he has some serious issues communicating. My fifteen year old sometimes says one thing instead of what he really means for the same reason. Course JMO.
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Has he ever been tested for language and processing disorders?

    It really does sound like one. though I have known adults, esp when I lived in a dorm, who were just clueless and asked things like that.
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    difficult child 3 does this too. Sometimes it's just poor communication/poor social skills. Maybe he meant, "That's a rather nice shade of red," or "A red car - it seems unusual to see a car like that in this neighbourhood."

    About the bird call - maybe he just wanted it confirmed that it WAS a bird, and not something else. husband will sometimes ask, "Can you hear that?" He gets bad tinnitus and sometimes isn't sure if it's his tinnitus, or a sound from outside.
    The deer that live all around us are in mating mode, there is a stag that has been bellowing for a female outside out fence almost every night, late. husband is usually asleep but it was a bit early the other night. husband wasn't sure WHAT it was at first. We do get a lot of strange noises, and local kids trowing wild parties, but I must admit, a rutting stag just outside the front gate IS a bit disconcerting...

  12. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Yeah, I could see how that could be an odd noise! LOL Sorry I haven't responded sooner. husband had the computer most of yesterday and then a storm knocked out our dish/internet for a while. I am just now this morning able to get back online. (I think I had the shakes last night when I couldn't get online!)

    To my knowledge, difficult child has never been tested for any language/processing issues. Again, I've had suspicions for years but could never get anyone to listen. A couple of weeks ago, I bought a watermelon at the store. When I carried it in the house, he asked me what it was. Not "is that a watermelon" but just flat out, he had no idea what it was. I don't buy watermelons often but I do get them. He's had them, he's been with husband and I when we've bought them. He swore up and down he had no idea what it was.

    When we first got him at age 9 yrs. 5 mos., he still couldn't completely tell time. It took him a couple of years to figure this out. His common sense level is really low. We have a cordless phone and a corded phone on the wall in the kitchen. If he happens to be standing near the corded phone when it rings, he will scour the house looking for the cordless. I'll tell him just to answer the corded phone and he stands there looking like I asked him to build a space ship. Granted, that could be a technology aren't that used to corded phones but still. We've been over that and over that.

    I am completely convinced there is something else going on with him. But I also absolutely know that unless he matures and grows up, he will never agree to more testing and/or treatment.