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Cant get her to do ANYTHING!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 167500" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>She's not nuts. She's 17! And an immature 17 at that. My daughter was, is and probably always will be a slob. If no towel was handy, the wall would do just fine. Like yours, makeup stains were the wall murals. I had a simple solution -- I simply threw her makeup away (and anything else she left on the bathroom counters). Like you, I refused to buy her stuff -- she wouldn't take care of things I bought, so she had to find a way to get it herself. If those things were left in places other than her room, they were fair game for me to confiscate and do whatever I wanted with them.</p><p> </p><p>I did give her a chance to pick things up before taking them. I would do a reminder before I went to bed. Anything still out the next day was history.</p><p> </p><p>I know it is hard to believe, but a lot of the behavior is not deliberate. My daughter could literally walk over something spilled and not see it in her mind. Her feet would register they needed to step wide but her mind could not get the message that this needed to be cleaned up. She would clean it up if I mentioned it but otherwise not. Same went with dropping her things wherever was convenient. It just didn't register that this wasn't appropriate. It's hard to explain but it is part of executive functioning, something many with ADHD lack.</p><p> </p><p>For my daughter's room, I simply closed the door. About once every two weeks I would warn her I was going to do a room search. Mainly, I was trying to find all the items that smelled -- food leavings, used hygiene items (ugh!!!!), wet towels. I would removed those items, leave the rest of the mess for her. When it got absolutely too much for me, she was grounded until it was clean. She could go to school and work. Otherwise, she was free to sit in her pig sty. The rest of the house was off limits other than to eat meals with me.</p><p> </p><p>I understand the hating to live with it. It was finally what caused me to tell my daughter she needed to get her own place. I couldn't take the refusal to do chores, etc. I've visited her in her apartment a couple of times. I've managed to stay about 10 minutes -- all I can handle.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 167500, member: 3626"] She's not nuts. She's 17! And an immature 17 at that. My daughter was, is and probably always will be a slob. If no towel was handy, the wall would do just fine. Like yours, makeup stains were the wall murals. I had a simple solution -- I simply threw her makeup away (and anything else she left on the bathroom counters). Like you, I refused to buy her stuff -- she wouldn't take care of things I bought, so she had to find a way to get it herself. If those things were left in places other than her room, they were fair game for me to confiscate and do whatever I wanted with them. I did give her a chance to pick things up before taking them. I would do a reminder before I went to bed. Anything still out the next day was history. I know it is hard to believe, but a lot of the behavior is not deliberate. My daughter could literally walk over something spilled and not see it in her mind. Her feet would register they needed to step wide but her mind could not get the message that this needed to be cleaned up. She would clean it up if I mentioned it but otherwise not. Same went with dropping her things wherever was convenient. It just didn't register that this wasn't appropriate. It's hard to explain but it is part of executive functioning, something many with ADHD lack. For my daughter's room, I simply closed the door. About once every two weeks I would warn her I was going to do a room search. Mainly, I was trying to find all the items that smelled -- food leavings, used hygiene items (ugh!!!!), wet towels. I would removed those items, leave the rest of the mess for her. When it got absolutely too much for me, she was grounded until it was clean. She could go to school and work. Otherwise, she was free to sit in her pig sty. The rest of the house was off limits other than to eat meals with me. I understand the hating to live with it. It was finally what caused me to tell my daughter she needed to get her own place. I couldn't take the refusal to do chores, etc. I've visited her in her apartment a couple of times. I've managed to stay about 10 minutes -- all I can handle. [/QUOTE]
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