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Cant get her to do ANYTHING!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 167506" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>Is she adopted by any chance because she sounds just like my son! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/1010hammer.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hammer:" title="hammer :hammer:" data-shortname=":hammer:" /> Which means that I know EXACTLY what you're going through and also know that any advice given, you'll have to decide if you think it is worth it or will even work. With that said...</p><p></p><p><strong>RE: wiping make-up and product on the walls</strong> - My first thought is to confiscate all of it. If she can't handle using it right, then she doesn't get it. If she wants to use it, she has to come to you and ask (nicely or at least not really snotty) and is monitored while she uses it. (Same goes with the hair accessories)</p><p></p><p><strong>Clothes everywhere</strong> - If she leaves it laying in "public" areas (such as the bathroom), it's gone. Period. Maybe give her one small reminder but otherwise, take it. If she's like mine, she's he!! on towels. If possible, keep all towels someplace else (your room) and give her one every few days. Before she gets a fresh one, she has to turn in her dirty one. At least that way you don't have to go hunting for dirty towels in her room. </p><p></p><p><strong>Yours and husband's products</strong> - Much as I hate doing this myself, lock it up. Literally. I don't keep anything of mine in my bathroom except for my hair dryer. If I leave anything in there my difficult child uses it no matter what it is. (He once used a brand new, FULL bottle of my conditioner to wash his feet.) I keep the daily stuff in a tote and cart it back and forth. When it's not in use, it's locked in my bedroom. (We actually have a deadbolt on our bedroom door because the he has broken in when we were just using the regular door knob locks. We also keep anything else in there that he will take/use if he sees it laying out.)</p><p></p><p>As for the other stuff, I wouldn't make a big deal out of her room simply because it's not in public view. If she wants to live like a pig, it's her choice. However, if she does damage to the house (walls, floor, etc), that's something that she will be responsible for. Either by paying for the damage or assisting in the repair. New rules for her room though, no smoking (she IS underage so that can be your reasoning), no dishes/food in her room....nothing in her room that's not hers. </p><p></p><p>As for your stuff in the storage area, is this a totally seperate area? Is it something that you can lock? My difficult child is the same way. If something is not locked up, it's fair game to him no matter what it is. Even my clothes which just astounds me. He's 6'2" and a stick while I'm 5'2" and a bit, um, fluffy. But he will wear anything of mine that he decides he likes or thinks he looks "cool" in. The only things he hasn't worn are my bras and undies......I think. </p><p></p><p>We've had to change/make a lot of rules in our house because difficult child is such a slob. I quit doing his laundry years ago and it all hasn't been clean since. I don't even let him put his clothes in the hamper in the bathroom because it contaminates everything else so bad that it takes multiple washings to get the funk out. With the exception of deodorant and hair gel, if it's his, it stays in his room. I don't normallly let him eat on the couch anymore because he gets entirely too engrossed in the tv that he makes a horrible mess. Even the spot at the table where he eats looks like a 2 year old eats there. </p><p></p><p>I finally got fed up with all of the grossness and took my house back. Nothing of his is allowed in the public areas of the house and if I find stuff, I either toss it or throw it in his room. </p><p></p><p>And the phone thing? <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> I love how these kids think we'll just give 'em anything they want for absolutely no reason. My standard response to that stuff is "Get a job and buy it yourself" and then just walk away. </p><p></p><p>Basically, if she can't respect your home, your rules and you period, then her life should undergo some major changes until she does. You've got a great start but there's much more that can be done.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 167506, member: 2459"] Is she adopted by any chance because she sounds just like my son! :hammer: Which means that I know EXACTLY what you're going through and also know that any advice given, you'll have to decide if you think it is worth it or will even work. With that said... [B]RE: wiping make-up and product on the walls[/B] - My first thought is to confiscate all of it. If she can't handle using it right, then she doesn't get it. If she wants to use it, she has to come to you and ask (nicely or at least not really snotty) and is monitored while she uses it. (Same goes with the hair accessories) [B]Clothes everywhere[/B] - If she leaves it laying in "public" areas (such as the bathroom), it's gone. Period. Maybe give her one small reminder but otherwise, take it. If she's like mine, she's he!! on towels. If possible, keep all towels someplace else (your room) and give her one every few days. Before she gets a fresh one, she has to turn in her dirty one. At least that way you don't have to go hunting for dirty towels in her room. [B]Yours and husband's products[/B] - Much as I hate doing this myself, lock it up. Literally. I don't keep anything of mine in my bathroom except for my hair dryer. If I leave anything in there my difficult child uses it no matter what it is. (He once used a brand new, FULL bottle of my conditioner to wash his feet.) I keep the daily stuff in a tote and cart it back and forth. When it's not in use, it's locked in my bedroom. (We actually have a deadbolt on our bedroom door because the he has broken in when we were just using the regular door knob locks. We also keep anything else in there that he will take/use if he sees it laying out.) As for the other stuff, I wouldn't make a big deal out of her room simply because it's not in public view. If she wants to live like a pig, it's her choice. However, if she does damage to the house (walls, floor, etc), that's something that she will be responsible for. Either by paying for the damage or assisting in the repair. New rules for her room though, no smoking (she IS underage so that can be your reasoning), no dishes/food in her room....nothing in her room that's not hers. As for your stuff in the storage area, is this a totally seperate area? Is it something that you can lock? My difficult child is the same way. If something is not locked up, it's fair game to him no matter what it is. Even my clothes which just astounds me. He's 6'2" and a stick while I'm 5'2" and a bit, um, fluffy. But he will wear anything of mine that he decides he likes or thinks he looks "cool" in. The only things he hasn't worn are my bras and undies......I think. We've had to change/make a lot of rules in our house because difficult child is such a slob. I quit doing his laundry years ago and it all hasn't been clean since. I don't even let him put his clothes in the hamper in the bathroom because it contaminates everything else so bad that it takes multiple washings to get the funk out. With the exception of deodorant and hair gel, if it's his, it stays in his room. I don't normallly let him eat on the couch anymore because he gets entirely too engrossed in the tv that he makes a horrible mess. Even the spot at the table where he eats looks like a 2 year old eats there. I finally got fed up with all of the grossness and took my house back. Nothing of his is allowed in the public areas of the house and if I find stuff, I either toss it or throw it in his room. And the phone thing? :rofl: I love how these kids think we'll just give 'em anything they want for absolutely no reason. My standard response to that stuff is "Get a job and buy it yourself" and then just walk away. Basically, if she can't respect your home, your rules and you period, then her life should undergo some major changes until she does. You've got a great start but there's much more that can be done. [/QUOTE]
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