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Can't give an inch...
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<blockquote data-quote="HeadlightsMom" data-source="post: 642220" data-attributes="member: 18284"><p>Lil --- Just read these new posts since I last wrote and I sure do have you on my heart right now. You made some very good points. Though our difficult child's are so similar (in many ways), they are all at different stages of "whatever-this-difficult child-thing-ultimately-is". It's such a hard thing finding any balance -- to have them in our lives or not? For some parents, it's either one or the other. For other parents, it's not a mutually exclusive proposition.....just one with BIG boundaries (of your choosing).</p><p></p><p>Ultimately, these choices are yours (and all of ours about our difficult child's) -- difficult child in, out, or a little of both. <em><strong> You sound like you have great integrity, so I support you in doing whatever YOU need to do for YOU. Yes, your difficult child matters. But right now my heart is with you! And my heart will always remain in support of you. </strong></em> <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p></p><p>MWM -- Some time ago you and I chatted about our adopted difficult child's, remember? Your comments, above, are spot on about DNA. If you recall, I speak from experiencing knowing our adopted difficult child's bio family and also, as an adoptee myself, my own bio family. The similarities are uncanny for both difficult child's bio fam and my bio fam. It explains much.</p><p></p><p>But it doesn't explain everything. There's Nature, there's Nurture, there's Free Will. It's a tripod. While Nature is the foundation (it happens first, chronologically, and underlies all else), the others play huge roles. In today's world, Free Will is conveniently skipped over. But Free Will is huge -- despite bio tendencies, Free Will gives us the power to REcreate our lives (within whatever range biology gives us).</p><p></p><p>Lil ---- Catch me up here... Your difficult child is from another father and you are married to Jabber? Did I get that right?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HeadlightsMom, post: 642220, member: 18284"] Lil --- Just read these new posts since I last wrote and I sure do have you on my heart right now. You made some very good points. Though our difficult child's are so similar (in many ways), they are all at different stages of "whatever-this-difficult child-thing-ultimately-is". It's such a hard thing finding any balance -- to have them in our lives or not? For some parents, it's either one or the other. For other parents, it's not a mutually exclusive proposition.....just one with BIG boundaries (of your choosing). Ultimately, these choices are yours (and all of ours about our difficult child's) -- difficult child in, out, or a little of both. [I][B] You sound like you have great integrity, so I support you in doing whatever YOU need to do for YOU. Yes, your difficult child matters. But right now my heart is with you! And my heart will always remain in support of you. [/B][/I] :D MWM -- Some time ago you and I chatted about our adopted difficult child's, remember? Your comments, above, are spot on about DNA. If you recall, I speak from experiencing knowing our adopted difficult child's bio family and also, as an adoptee myself, my own bio family. The similarities are uncanny for both difficult child's bio fam and my bio fam. It explains much. But it doesn't explain everything. There's Nature, there's Nurture, there's Free Will. It's a tripod. While Nature is the foundation (it happens first, chronologically, and underlies all else), the others play huge roles. In today's world, Free Will is conveniently skipped over. But Free Will is huge -- despite bio tendencies, Free Will gives us the power to REcreate our lives (within whatever range biology gives us). Lil ---- Catch me up here... Your difficult child is from another father and you are married to Jabber? Did I get that right? [/QUOTE]
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