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Can't give an inch...
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 642674" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>I agree with what you are saying here. The other big elephant in the room is that hes has both lied and stolen from you which in my opinion needs to be taken seriously - which you have by kicking him out. But now that you have made that step, you need to back off and see what he is capable of doing for himself. Lil, sorry to say but there is definitely a "fixer" in you and that is still a hump in your own growth that you have to get over and until you do your difficult child will continue to be able to pull things over on you. How will you ever know what a kind of man he will become if you don't give HIM the chance to show what a man he can be. And maybe that is your fear, if you don't control everything he may not become one at all. Which is nonsense. Time to take the training wheels off of his manhood, and let him fall, bruises and all and watch him pull HIMSELF back up. No matter how much effort you give to trying to make him into a man by making his road easier, he can not grow into a man if you can't take off the training wheels by stopping the "fixing everything for him" and definitely that means YOUR "poor baby" feeling you have for him. If you think of it that way, how would you, yourself feel if someone constantly ran to you aid because they had it in their mind that you were a failure as a human being. Of course he fails at what you ask of him, it's easier to stay the child you want him to be that to stand up an become his own man. I think that the "fixing" only encourages him to remain a child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 642674, member: 18366"] I agree with what you are saying here. The other big elephant in the room is that hes has both lied and stolen from you which in my opinion needs to be taken seriously - which you have by kicking him out. But now that you have made that step, you need to back off and see what he is capable of doing for himself. Lil, sorry to say but there is definitely a "fixer" in you and that is still a hump in your own growth that you have to get over and until you do your difficult child will continue to be able to pull things over on you. How will you ever know what a kind of man he will become if you don't give HIM the chance to show what a man he can be. And maybe that is your fear, if you don't control everything he may not become one at all. Which is nonsense. Time to take the training wheels off of his manhood, and let him fall, bruises and all and watch him pull HIMSELF back up. No matter how much effort you give to trying to make him into a man by making his road easier, he can not grow into a man if you can't take off the training wheels by stopping the "fixing everything for him" and definitely that means YOUR "poor baby" feeling you have for him. If you think of it that way, how would you, yourself feel if someone constantly ran to you aid because they had it in their mind that you were a failure as a human being. Of course he fails at what you ask of him, it's easier to stay the child you want him to be that to stand up an become his own man. I think that the "fixing" only encourages him to remain a child. [/QUOTE]
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