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Can't give an inch...
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 642743" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Please understand when I say a teen is a "baby" I don't mean "infant incapable of taking care of themselves", so much as "person with no (or very little) experience with how the world works".</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>LOL Don't be sorry. There is definitely a "fixer" in me big time! I recognize and admit it.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I don't think that's it really. Of course he'll be a man. But what kind of man? Will he be a decent, honest, honorable person? At the moment, I don't see that happening and it breaks my heart. I want so badly to have my son be someone I can be proud of...hell, I'll settle for not ashamed of.</p><p></p><p>Truthfully, I don't see why people keep saying I want to control everything. <span style="color: #ff0000">I'd love people to quote the things I say that makes it sound like that. </span> I admit to being a fixer. I admit to being a bit of a control freak about some things. Hell, I rearrange the ornaments on the church's Christmas trees when everyone is gone. But I don't want to control his life. I never have. I don't care what he does for a living. I don't care if he doesn't go to college. I don't care where he lives (though I'd hope it was somewhere safe instead of a ghetto). I simply want him to be a normal, healthy, happy, honest and self-sufficient person. <em>That's all. </em> Would I <em>like </em>him to go to college, get a good job, hang out with decent people, maybe get married in a few years and have kids and come to visit on Sundays with the whole family? Sure. Would I <em>like </em>him to dress less slobby and take care of himself? Sure. But all I want, all I really want for the rest of my life, is for him to grow the hell up and be a whole person, a worthwhile person.</p><p></p><p>I have never, ever, tried to make him into some kind of clone of us. He wanted to dress in black and never cut his hair? Fine. He never wanted to be in sports? Fine. He wanted to take German in high school, which is useless, instead of Spanish, which is useful? Fine. We gave him tons of freedom to be what he wanted to be and do what he wanted to do. All we ever asked was that whatever he do, he do to the best of his ability...and hoped and prayed some of our morals rubbed off.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Same thing. <span style="color: #ff0000">Please someone tell me what I'm saying that gives ANYONE ...much less ALL of you the impression I WANT him to stay a child?</span> That's the ABSOLUTE LAST THING I WANT! Seriously, I've been telling him to grow the hell up for the last three years! I am absolutely serious when I say if I could snap my fingers and have him be 30 years old with a job, a mortgage and a car payment I would go for it (not that I'm anxious to be 11 years older). Then I could finally not have to think about it anymore.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 642743, member: 17309"] Please understand when I say a teen is a "baby" I don't mean "infant incapable of taking care of themselves", so much as "person with no (or very little) experience with how the world works". LOL Don't be sorry. There is definitely a "fixer" in me big time! I recognize and admit it. I don't think that's it really. Of course he'll be a man. But what kind of man? Will he be a decent, honest, honorable person? At the moment, I don't see that happening and it breaks my heart. I want so badly to have my son be someone I can be proud of...hell, I'll settle for not ashamed of. Truthfully, I don't see why people keep saying I want to control everything. [COLOR=#ff0000]I'd love people to quote the things I say that makes it sound like that. [/COLOR] I admit to being a fixer. I admit to being a bit of a control freak about some things. Hell, I rearrange the ornaments on the church's Christmas trees when everyone is gone. But I don't want to control his life. I never have. I don't care what he does for a living. I don't care if he doesn't go to college. I don't care where he lives (though I'd hope it was somewhere safe instead of a ghetto). I simply want him to be a normal, healthy, happy, honest and self-sufficient person. [I]That's all. [/I] Would I [I]like [/I]him to go to college, get a good job, hang out with decent people, maybe get married in a few years and have kids and come to visit on Sundays with the whole family? Sure. Would I [I]like [/I]him to dress less slobby and take care of himself? Sure. But all I want, all I really want for the rest of my life, is for him to grow the hell up and be a whole person, a worthwhile person. I have never, ever, tried to make him into some kind of clone of us. He wanted to dress in black and never cut his hair? Fine. He never wanted to be in sports? Fine. He wanted to take German in high school, which is useless, instead of Spanish, which is useful? Fine. We gave him tons of freedom to be what he wanted to be and do what he wanted to do. All we ever asked was that whatever he do, he do to the best of his ability...and hoped and prayed some of our morals rubbed off. Same thing. [COLOR=#ff0000]Please someone tell me what I'm saying that gives ANYONE ...much less ALL of you the impression I WANT him to stay a child?[/COLOR] That's the ABSOLUTE LAST THING I WANT! Seriously, I've been telling him to grow the hell up for the last three years! I am absolutely serious when I say if I could snap my fingers and have him be 30 years old with a job, a mortgage and a car payment I would go for it (not that I'm anxious to be 11 years older). Then I could finally not have to think about it anymore. [/QUOTE]
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