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Can't Stand Young Adult Son
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 621507" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Stress bunny,</p><p></p><p>I am sorry you are in a place where you can't stand your own son. That is hard. </p><p></p><p>He is of an age and in a place that the consequences of his choices, financial, personal, educational and otherwise, will catch up with him soon enough (although in the land of sooner and later, I've been surprised to find that this is often later...)</p><p></p><p>It is really important that he doesn't live with you. You did well to tell him he had to move out if he couldn't follow your rules..that is a big hurdle for a lot of us here. </p><p></p><p>It would be important to be sure that there is no place where his credit intersects with yours, as much as possible..because sounds like he will have collection agencies in the picture, and you don't want to be there.</p><p></p><p>As far as his being a jerk? I suggest you do what we all do with jerks...set limits. If he is rude or disrespectufl on the phone, then get off the phone. Say "I am not going to continue this conversation while you are speaking to me this way."</p><p></p><p>Assume if he can't be polite on the phone he won't be polite in person. Stop letting him come to your house. If you want to see him, meet him somewhere where you can get up and leave. Don't get in the position of trying to make him leave, which is sure to be a scene.</p><p></p><p>It is embarassing when people we love or are forcibly associated with behave in ways we find disturbing or repellent. </p><p></p><p>My SO is a big supporter of gun right. When he posts about that on facebook he sounds like a redneck, and I want to go bury my head. I work on remembering that he is he and I am I. He has a right to his ()(&*)()) opinions, and so do I. He is not a reflection of me.</p><p></p><p>Your son is moving to a place where he is not a reflection of you either. </p><p></p><p>Try to let it go. Let him make his dumb financial decisions, disrrespect his work, bosses, girlfriends, and property. That will lead him where it will lead him, and he will deal with the consequences as he does. One thing for sure...your talking to him lecturing him or writing to him about it will not impact him. In the least. Or it would have worked already.</p><p></p><p>I' m sorry you are here. But you aren't alone. I hope that helps some.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 621507, member: 17269"] Stress bunny, I am sorry you are in a place where you can't stand your own son. That is hard. He is of an age and in a place that the consequences of his choices, financial, personal, educational and otherwise, will catch up with him soon enough (although in the land of sooner and later, I've been surprised to find that this is often later...) It is really important that he doesn't live with you. You did well to tell him he had to move out if he couldn't follow your rules..that is a big hurdle for a lot of us here. It would be important to be sure that there is no place where his credit intersects with yours, as much as possible..because sounds like he will have collection agencies in the picture, and you don't want to be there. As far as his being a jerk? I suggest you do what we all do with jerks...set limits. If he is rude or disrespectufl on the phone, then get off the phone. Say "I am not going to continue this conversation while you are speaking to me this way." Assume if he can't be polite on the phone he won't be polite in person. Stop letting him come to your house. If you want to see him, meet him somewhere where you can get up and leave. Don't get in the position of trying to make him leave, which is sure to be a scene. It is embarassing when people we love or are forcibly associated with behave in ways we find disturbing or repellent. My SO is a big supporter of gun right. When he posts about that on facebook he sounds like a redneck, and I want to go bury my head. I work on remembering that he is he and I am I. He has a right to his ()(&*)()) opinions, and so do I. He is not a reflection of me. Your son is moving to a place where he is not a reflection of you either. Try to let it go. Let him make his dumb financial decisions, disrrespect his work, bosses, girlfriends, and property. That will lead him where it will lead him, and he will deal with the consequences as he does. One thing for sure...your talking to him lecturing him or writing to him about it will not impact him. In the least. Or it would have worked already. I' m sorry you are here. But you aren't alone. I hope that helps some. Echo [/QUOTE]
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