Our young adult son's (JT's) behaviors are extremely antagonizing on a regular basis. In a nutshell, this is what is and has been going on over the past two years: Charged with underage drinking the weekend we dropped him off for his first semester at college. Flunked semester 1 at University #1. Flunked semester 2 at University #1. Kicked out of University #1. Flunked EMT class at College #2. Came home to start new Fire Medic program at a local college. Abused all house rules immediately and behaved very disrespectfully to all of us. Told him it wasn't working out and that he would either need to follow house rules or move out. He opted to move out. Never continued with study at College #2. Moved far away and in with friend whose life was also going nowhere fast. Started smoking. Hired in automotive repair job. Fired from automotive repair job after two weeks. He failed to do something right, which resulted in a safety issue for the car owner. Of course, he argued that he was still right in what he did and that the company was wrong. Lying nonstop about everything. Got a credit card and charged up well over $1,000, though he had no job or intention of paying the balance. Accumulated other bills he failed to pay, and creditors began calling. Traded the truck we bought him (that he wanted and we worked hard to save for) for a piece of junk truck that is no longer running. He now drives his girlfriend's truck back and forth to work. Lies constantly about everything, as though the fact that he says something makes it true; contradicts his own statements just moments after making them, as though everything he says is true even when his remarks are in direct conflict with one another. Moved in with grandparents for 8 weeks after getting hired for a factory job. Currently in his own apartment (for past month). Shows zero respect in his communications with husband and me. He swears and uses other disrespectful language. Continues to lie nonstop about everything. Calls at all hours with no regard that we may be sleeping. He respects no one, only himself. All that matters is what he wants. He only contacts us (or other family members) when he wants something, and yet, he won't come right out and ask, because apparently, that is beneath him. Chooses to behave in ways that he knows are provocative to us: Smoking Buying guns Porn Swearing Red-Neck Worship Filthy Dirty Living Refusing to Shave his Face - Ever Shaving his Head Regularly Big Ego; Extreme Narcissism Constant Boasting and Bragging ALWAYS thinks he is Right Argumentative Enjoys Button-Pushing Out of Touch with Reality; Believes he is Better and Smarter than Everyone Willing to Lie to get into Military Constantly trying to Use and Manipulate People Disrespect of Women Doesn't Believe he needs Training or a Degree because he is Already More Qualified than Everyone for Every Job Refuses to Live on a Budget or Allow us to Help Him Organize his Bills Nothing is EVER his Fault or his Responsibility Does not Care about Anyone but Himself Smirks when Confronted about how his Behavior Negatively affects Others Lacks Empathy (see above) Big Mouth Inconsiderate Rude Disrespectful Unable to Control his Behavior, i.e. risk seeking behaviors, and instant gratification/impulsivity The only positive is that he has managed to keep a decent paying job for the past 90 days. He has been living in an apartment of his own for the past month. We no longer pay any of his bills, but this has just begun over the past month or so. I honestly can't stand this person at all any more. Every interaction with him is difficult for me. When he graduated from high school with a 3.5 GPA, scholarships, and a 25 ACT score, he had a goal. We had hope. But over the past two years, his behavior has gone downhill so much. He has always been a very stubborn and defiant, difficult, and uncooperative person, but at least it seemed like he might be able to use his intelligence and abilities to compensate. He is milking his new freedom for all it's worth. I feel so disappointed, angry, and hopeless that this will ever change. I know that at a minimum, JT is a narcissist, and at worst, possibly a psychopath. I'm exhausted and heartbroken. I have been reading about setting boundaries and detachment. Just need some support, I guess.