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Can't take it anymore !!!
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 648041" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Take some deep breaths ST...........step back from the edge. Your daughter can drag you in to her drama each and every time, which is why we suggest limiting your contact, not answering the phone, getting as much support as you can, finding a therapist, going to 12 step groups, whatever it takes to get your boundaries up and running and your tools intact. If you can, meditate, do yoga, go for a brisk 20 minute walk, get on to YOUTUBE and search peaceful guided meditations, do whatever you can to move beyond the fear and guilt that is taking you over right now. We have all been in that crummy place, we know what that feels like, believe me. I know. It is pretty awful.</p><p></p><p>As you stay here you'll develop a "tool box" (the term childofmine coined for us). Various tactics you use when the fear and guilt and sorrow overtake you. We need those tools. Find some now and utilize them.</p><p></p><p>I found a lot of help along the way. I needed it. I needed a village. I could not do this alone. I also went to an acupuncturist because that helped so much with all the stress. Make sure you have daily exercise of some kind, walking is a great stress reliever. Limit sugar, alcohol, gluten and anything that creates stress for you. Get as healthy as you can in whatever ways that work for you. Commit to your own health and well being. The focus has been on your daughter for a long time, it is time to put it onto you now. You deserve a healthy, joyful, peaceful life. You will need to be the one that creates that for yourself. You can do it.</p><p></p><p>We're here. We know how you are feeling right now. Your daughter has thrown her fear at you and now you are living in it. Nothing has happened. You are still in this moment and you're okay. All of your fear is about future stuff you can't control now. Breathe deeply and let go of the fear. It is not real. It is about the future and it is called catastrophizing, which is what we do around our kids. With support, you can learn not to go there. Down the line if something happens, you can trust yourself to deal with it then, but right now, today, nothing has happened. Let the future go and stay here in the present moment. Go for a walk.</p><p></p><p>You may want to get a book called Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie. Re-read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. If you can, read books by Eckhart Tolle and Pema Chodron, they both helped me tremendously.</p><p></p><p>You'll be okay. You just got sucker punched. Breathe. Let go. We're here...........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 648041, member: 13542"] Take some deep breaths ST...........step back from the edge. Your daughter can drag you in to her drama each and every time, which is why we suggest limiting your contact, not answering the phone, getting as much support as you can, finding a therapist, going to 12 step groups, whatever it takes to get your boundaries up and running and your tools intact. If you can, meditate, do yoga, go for a brisk 20 minute walk, get on to YOUTUBE and search peaceful guided meditations, do whatever you can to move beyond the fear and guilt that is taking you over right now. We have all been in that crummy place, we know what that feels like, believe me. I know. It is pretty awful. As you stay here you'll develop a "tool box" (the term childofmine coined for us). Various tactics you use when the fear and guilt and sorrow overtake you. We need those tools. Find some now and utilize them. I found a lot of help along the way. I needed it. I needed a village. I could not do this alone. I also went to an acupuncturist because that helped so much with all the stress. Make sure you have daily exercise of some kind, walking is a great stress reliever. Limit sugar, alcohol, gluten and anything that creates stress for you. Get as healthy as you can in whatever ways that work for you. Commit to your own health and well being. The focus has been on your daughter for a long time, it is time to put it onto you now. You deserve a healthy, joyful, peaceful life. You will need to be the one that creates that for yourself. You can do it. We're here. We know how you are feeling right now. Your daughter has thrown her fear at you and now you are living in it. Nothing has happened. You are still in this moment and you're okay. All of your fear is about future stuff you can't control now. Breathe deeply and let go of the fear. It is not real. It is about the future and it is called catastrophizing, which is what we do around our kids. With support, you can learn not to go there. Down the line if something happens, you can trust yourself to deal with it then, but right now, today, nothing has happened. Let the future go and stay here in the present moment. Go for a walk. You may want to get a book called Codependent no more by Melodie Beattie. Re-read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. If you can, read books by Eckhart Tolle and Pema Chodron, they both helped me tremendously. You'll be okay. You just got sucker punched. Breathe. Let go. We're here........... [/QUOTE]
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