Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Can't take it anymore !!!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 648043" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hon, listen to the people here. I have a few suggestions. Maybe you think they will work for you. You are never obligated to do what we suggest, but I will pass along what has worked for me. Then you decide. We support you no matter what.</p><p></p><p>Do not talk to Daughter every time she calls. Maybe once a week for ten minutes. You know the call will be her threatening you or blackmailing you or asking for something so why do you need to listen to her every time she is feeling whiny and childish? I think your life would be richer and far more peaceful if you set a boundary on how often she can call you.I'd not check her FB either as our little darlings tend to post nasty or scary stuff JUST FOR US! Aren't we special? You must have other loved ones who are actually fun to talk to. I would tell her you are limiting contact unless she refrains from all complaints and expectations of you. I did this with Difficult Son. After showing him I meant it, he has really stopped the phone abuse!</p><p></p><p>Let her know in advance that you are not going to pick up the phone just to hear her complain about her terrible life; that you need space from that. She WILL call you a terrible mother. You CAN say, "You are a smart woman and you don't need me to care for your anymore. You can work this out yourself. I love you so I want to help you grow up by not solving your problems for you. I know you can do it." If that causes a burst of abuse, say, "I have to go now" in a calm voice and hang up and then put your phone on vibrate and don't answer her.</p><p></p><p>If your daughter chooses to run off without her child, then that was her decision and Dad will raise him. You don't have to raise your daughter's child. There are other alternatives. Some of us are in the wrong mindset or too old or tooooooooooo tired to do that anymore and we are not bad people if we don't. Obviously we can't emotionally meet the needs of a busy toddler if we are not up to it in every way. Your daughter is using the very common emotional blackmail we see with these men and women. They want to still be children so they blackmail us with horrible scenarios if you dare to say "no."</p><p></p><p>Wishing you strength, which grows each time you say "no", and the peace of knowing you HAVE DONE ALL YOU CAN and that it is her responsibility now, not yours, and that if the worst happens and your grandson needs a place to stay there are loving foster homes, not just your house. You are not obligated to anything that you don't feel you can do nor should you. THAT helps NOBODY.</p><p></p><p>Huggles and try to relax. We are here 24/7 and don't even take off Christmas.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 648043, member: 1550"] Hon, listen to the people here. I have a few suggestions. Maybe you think they will work for you. You are never obligated to do what we suggest, but I will pass along what has worked for me. Then you decide. We support you no matter what. Do not talk to Daughter every time she calls. Maybe once a week for ten minutes. You know the call will be her threatening you or blackmailing you or asking for something so why do you need to listen to her every time she is feeling whiny and childish? I think your life would be richer and far more peaceful if you set a boundary on how often she can call you.I'd not check her FB either as our little darlings tend to post nasty or scary stuff JUST FOR US! Aren't we special? You must have other loved ones who are actually fun to talk to. I would tell her you are limiting contact unless she refrains from all complaints and expectations of you. I did this with Difficult Son. After showing him I meant it, he has really stopped the phone abuse! Let her know in advance that you are not going to pick up the phone just to hear her complain about her terrible life; that you need space from that. She WILL call you a terrible mother. You CAN say, "You are a smart woman and you don't need me to care for your anymore. You can work this out yourself. I love you so I want to help you grow up by not solving your problems for you. I know you can do it." If that causes a burst of abuse, say, "I have to go now" in a calm voice and hang up and then put your phone on vibrate and don't answer her. If your daughter chooses to run off without her child, then that was her decision and Dad will raise him. You don't have to raise your daughter's child. There are other alternatives. Some of us are in the wrong mindset or too old or tooooooooooo tired to do that anymore and we are not bad people if we don't. Obviously we can't emotionally meet the needs of a busy toddler if we are not up to it in every way. Your daughter is using the very common emotional blackmail we see with these men and women. They want to still be children so they blackmail us with horrible scenarios if you dare to say "no." Wishing you strength, which grows each time you say "no", and the peace of knowing you HAVE DONE ALL YOU CAN and that it is her responsibility now, not yours, and that if the worst happens and your grandson needs a place to stay there are loving foster homes, not just your house. You are not obligated to anything that you don't feel you can do nor should you. THAT helps NOBODY. Huggles and try to relax. We are here 24/7 and don't even take off Christmas. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Can't take it anymore !!!
Top