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Can't take one more thing
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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 437078" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>Thanks so much, everyone. This is the most wonderful group of people ever. I'm pretty isolated where we live, but being able to pull up a chair at the table and be with friends in this forum is the best. You've given me some very sound feedback. I do tend to take on everyone's problems, mostly because I've spun those plates on those sticks for more than two decades and everyone's used to it. But - it's true, the kids are grown. I know in theory I can and should step back and hand off some of those plates and sticks, recite that Serenity Prayer to myself, and call time out once in awhile. I need to work on that. husband's issues are the 'in my face' immediate ones, and it's hard to disengage when he's so anxious. I don't mind being supportive and offering any suggestions that come to mind; it's the anticipation of how the next long time will be that gets me opening a bottle of wine. Because husband tends to depression and ruminates and always predicts the absolute worst outcome, and wants to share the grief. I have to work on some boundaries there.</p><p></p><p>As for the kids, the move to Colorado is actually very exciting. We're going to look for housing and get her registered at the end of this month. And I'm thrilled that she'll be a couple of time zones away from the controlling boyfriend. That's a good stress, really. difficult child 2 is in Brazil on an international business internship with Dow in Sao Paulo - a great experience for him. I don't think my boot is that strong, lol! Booting difficult child 1 only landed him in the middle of our small town. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite7" alt=":p" title="Stick Out Tongue :p" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":p" /></p><p>difficult child 2 will be back to continue his studies in August. He's the one with the high-drama approach to life, though, and working through issues with him is a workout for the adrenals. It's odd that all my kids are super-high intensity in everything, and I'm the Aspie type who needs space and quiet and not too much contact in a day. Not the greatest personality match! But it's good for me to stretch a bit.</p><p></p><p>Just one more lovely thing today, an issue that's all mine - at last! My employers are planning to dump me from the clinic where I've been working so they can put in lower-cost PAs, and they won't pay the last portion of my malpractice insurance (called a tail). I will probably be on the hook for $18K when I've barely taken that home over several months. Working for free ... just what I signed up for. husband says 'it's only money - just pay it and move on'. But it's my time, my life, a huge betrayal by people who call themselves our friends (not anymore). So I have to make some phone calls and see if I can figure out how to fix this. </p><p></p><p>PS Star, I'm sure Olivia is lovely and I really hope she finds a great home ... but with ten cats still at home my husband would divorce me if I even considered it!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 437078, member: 2884"] Thanks so much, everyone. This is the most wonderful group of people ever. I'm pretty isolated where we live, but being able to pull up a chair at the table and be with friends in this forum is the best. You've given me some very sound feedback. I do tend to take on everyone's problems, mostly because I've spun those plates on those sticks for more than two decades and everyone's used to it. But - it's true, the kids are grown. I know in theory I can and should step back and hand off some of those plates and sticks, recite that Serenity Prayer to myself, and call time out once in awhile. I need to work on that. husband's issues are the 'in my face' immediate ones, and it's hard to disengage when he's so anxious. I don't mind being supportive and offering any suggestions that come to mind; it's the anticipation of how the next long time will be that gets me opening a bottle of wine. Because husband tends to depression and ruminates and always predicts the absolute worst outcome, and wants to share the grief. I have to work on some boundaries there. As for the kids, the move to Colorado is actually very exciting. We're going to look for housing and get her registered at the end of this month. And I'm thrilled that she'll be a couple of time zones away from the controlling boyfriend. That's a good stress, really. difficult child 2 is in Brazil on an international business internship with Dow in Sao Paulo - a great experience for him. I don't think my boot is that strong, lol! Booting difficult child 1 only landed him in the middle of our small town. :P difficult child 2 will be back to continue his studies in August. He's the one with the high-drama approach to life, though, and working through issues with him is a workout for the adrenals. It's odd that all my kids are super-high intensity in everything, and I'm the Aspie type who needs space and quiet and not too much contact in a day. Not the greatest personality match! But it's good for me to stretch a bit. Just one more lovely thing today, an issue that's all mine - at last! My employers are planning to dump me from the clinic where I've been working so they can put in lower-cost PAs, and they won't pay the last portion of my malpractice insurance (called a tail). I will probably be on the hook for $18K when I've barely taken that home over several months. Working for free ... just what I signed up for. husband says 'it's only money - just pay it and move on'. But it's my time, my life, a huge betrayal by people who call themselves our friends (not anymore). So I have to make some phone calls and see if I can figure out how to fix this. PS Star, I'm sure Olivia is lovely and I really hope she finds a great home ... but with ten cats still at home my husband would divorce me if I even considered it! [/QUOTE]
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