This is a long one....
As some of you know, my son recently completed an IOP and is back at his boarding school for about one month. While there, he attends a nearby SA program run by a local agency once per week for "relapse prevention". In the month he has been with this agency, they have been continually questioning his drug screens. We were initially notified that his THC screen was questionable due to the faintness of the line. They watched it for a couple of weeks. During this time he was also told that there was a positive result for PCP, but they were dismissing that as a false positive as they considerred that highly unlikely with his profile. After 3 weeks of the line still being faint, they reccomended going for further testing at quest to determine levels, which he embraced as he had insisted all along that he was not doing anything. We went and the good news was that the THC and PCP were negative, but there was a postive for Opiates. He was absolutley adamant that there is no way that is possible, he has not done anything since the beginning of Nov. He asked for futher testing. He was so adamant that we believed him. So, to support him, we had a hair follicle test done to screen for EVERYTHING for the past 30 days. It came back all negative.
During this time, my son's attitude at his SA program deteriorated. He tells me he doesn't trust them anymore. He questions why they keep saying THC positive with the faint line as I and he have been told in the past that ANY line is negative. He said he doesn't trust his counselor anymore and doesn't want to go there. When I deliverred the news about the negative follicle test to the counselor, she questionned it. She also seemed put off about my sons negative attitude in the past couple of sessions and says OK, maybe he's not using, but his overall attitude about rules and school give her great reason for concern and she doesn't know if this is the right program for him.
I spoke to the gentleman that ran the follicle test. He tells me that he is VERY confident that his test is correct. He has been running his testing business for 5 years. He said there is no way around the follicle test. He said people try it, but it doesn't work. He also said he can tell when someone has tried because their hair gets very brittle. He saw no evidence of that with my son and I can't imagine when he would have done it as we agreed to it and had it done all within 36 hours. He had no access to any special store or products in that time.
Putting all of this in context, he attends a highly structurred boarding school that has a very firm reward and consequence system and they have been working with him. I agree that his attitude about adults, school and rules is troubling at times, but it's he is staying sober and we need to keep working with him on behaviors. It seems to me that there has been a breakdown in the relationship between the SA counselor and him and I am wondering if I should just move him. I hate to "stop and start" again, but she is not seeing how painful this past month of "doubt" has been on him.
In the time difficult child has been back at school - it's been up and down. He has not used, but he has good and bad weeks at school in terms of work completion and behavior. He thinks he doesn't have to follow the rules he doesn't agree with and he still blames some of what happenned to him over the past 2 years on his "overly strict" parents and "overly strict" school. He is not a fighter or a kid that talks back - it's more like, he is supposed to be in extra help for something after school and he doesn't go or he is late for morning medications. I am thinking the only cure for that is consistant consequences, time and maturity.
So - I am asking for input - do you think I am "making excuses" for him or do you think that his claims of "not trusting" the SA program are valid. What would you do about it? he not only attends SA counceling here, she doesn one-on-one work with him. She mentioned his case being "more complex" than she is used to. Maybe I just move him to another individual counselor, but keep him in that SA program? Not sure what to do.....thoughts?
As some of you know, my son recently completed an IOP and is back at his boarding school for about one month. While there, he attends a nearby SA program run by a local agency once per week for "relapse prevention". In the month he has been with this agency, they have been continually questioning his drug screens. We were initially notified that his THC screen was questionable due to the faintness of the line. They watched it for a couple of weeks. During this time he was also told that there was a positive result for PCP, but they were dismissing that as a false positive as they considerred that highly unlikely with his profile. After 3 weeks of the line still being faint, they reccomended going for further testing at quest to determine levels, which he embraced as he had insisted all along that he was not doing anything. We went and the good news was that the THC and PCP were negative, but there was a postive for Opiates. He was absolutley adamant that there is no way that is possible, he has not done anything since the beginning of Nov. He asked for futher testing. He was so adamant that we believed him. So, to support him, we had a hair follicle test done to screen for EVERYTHING for the past 30 days. It came back all negative.
During this time, my son's attitude at his SA program deteriorated. He tells me he doesn't trust them anymore. He questions why they keep saying THC positive with the faint line as I and he have been told in the past that ANY line is negative. He said he doesn't trust his counselor anymore and doesn't want to go there. When I deliverred the news about the negative follicle test to the counselor, she questionned it. She also seemed put off about my sons negative attitude in the past couple of sessions and says OK, maybe he's not using, but his overall attitude about rules and school give her great reason for concern and she doesn't know if this is the right program for him.
I spoke to the gentleman that ran the follicle test. He tells me that he is VERY confident that his test is correct. He has been running his testing business for 5 years. He said there is no way around the follicle test. He said people try it, but it doesn't work. He also said he can tell when someone has tried because their hair gets very brittle. He saw no evidence of that with my son and I can't imagine when he would have done it as we agreed to it and had it done all within 36 hours. He had no access to any special store or products in that time.
Putting all of this in context, he attends a highly structurred boarding school that has a very firm reward and consequence system and they have been working with him. I agree that his attitude about adults, school and rules is troubling at times, but it's he is staying sober and we need to keep working with him on behaviors. It seems to me that there has been a breakdown in the relationship between the SA counselor and him and I am wondering if I should just move him. I hate to "stop and start" again, but she is not seeing how painful this past month of "doubt" has been on him.
In the time difficult child has been back at school - it's been up and down. He has not used, but he has good and bad weeks at school in terms of work completion and behavior. He thinks he doesn't have to follow the rules he doesn't agree with and he still blames some of what happenned to him over the past 2 years on his "overly strict" parents and "overly strict" school. He is not a fighter or a kid that talks back - it's more like, he is supposed to be in extra help for something after school and he doesn't go or he is late for morning medications. I am thinking the only cure for that is consistant consequences, time and maturity.
So - I am asking for input - do you think I am "making excuses" for him or do you think that his claims of "not trusting" the SA program are valid. What would you do about it? he not only attends SA counceling here, she doesn one-on-one work with him. She mentioned his case being "more complex" than she is used to. Maybe I just move him to another individual counselor, but keep him in that SA program? Not sure what to do.....thoughts?
